


you'll be chasing my mind

by twicelucky



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, actually lots of the bad parts of being an idol are discussed, got6, idol!yugyeom, non-famous!jinyoung, not healthy eating is discussed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twicelucky/pseuds/twicelucky
Summary: At first, Jinyoung is just one person in a crowd to Yugyeom. Just like one of the countless people that he meets regularly -- fans that he sees only once, someone in a crowd, in a line, someone waiting to cross the intersection. But somehow he turns into someone that Yugyeom can't forget.Or the one where Yugyeom is an idol and Jinyoung is one of those pretentious people who don't like pop music.





	1. for a moment everything moved in slow motion

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so I kind of don't really know where this is going. But here’s an au where Yugyeom is an idol but Jinyoung is not. This is probably the closest I’ll ever get to writing canon fic. 
> 
> Fic title from “Chasing My Mind” by Holograms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Swallow" by Best Friend.

“Yugyeom-ah!” Mark calls out. “Come say hi to Younghyun!” Yugyeom whips his head to the side to see that Younghyun has in fact made it to the event for the release of one of their labelmates’ book. It’s kind of bullshit, Yugyeom thinks, that GOT6 had to go too, but wherever his company tells him to go, he goes with a smile on his face. So here he is, a little tired and rumpled from a nap on the car ride to the event, but here nonetheless.

He knows Younghyun kind of -- he’s a friend of Mark, which makes him Yugyeom’s pseudo-friend. Younghyun is nice enough. He paid for dinner the time Yugyeom went with Mark and his friends. He always smiles at Yugyeom and it doesn’t seem faked.

Younghyun waves at Yugyeom, and smiles broadly at him. Yugyeom smiles back.

“Hey!” He greets.

“Hey.” Younghyun says back. “How are you?”

“Tired. Good. What about you?” Younghyun gives him a knowing look. Yugyeom knows that he knows how hard it is, how tiring it is sometimes to be an idol.

“I’m good. I’ve been writing some new stuff lately. Maybe something for your next album, who knows?” Younghyun teases, waggling his eyebrows.

“Cool. Send it our way when you’re done.” Yugyeom replies, and then someone sidles up beside Younghyun. Yugyeom barely looks their way -- there’s always someone new to meet at events like this, someone that wants to meet GOT6. Usually it’s Mark or Jaebum that they want to meet, so Yugyeom prepares to take his leave.

“Oh! This is Park Jinyoung by the way! We go way back.” Younghyun says, clapping a hand on the man’s back. “Yugyeom, where are you going?” He asks, forcing Yugyeom to stop backing away.

“Nowhere.” Yugyeom grumbles, and leans on Mark’s shoulder. The man is more handsome when Yugyeom lets himself look at him -- handsome in the movie star type of way, with thick eyebrows and high cheekbones. He mentally sifts through the movies he’s seen lately, wondering if the guy really is a movie star.

“I’m Mark. It’s nice to meet you.” Mark says politely, and Yugyeom stays silent.

“Hello.” The man says, offering a weak smile to the two of them. It’s strange Yugyeom thinks, normally people are so eager to greet them, to ask them things, to see how they are in real life. But not this man.

“And this is Yugyeom.” Younghyun adds, pointing to Yugyeom.

“Hello.” Yugyeom says warmly. The man doesn’t respond, and instead looks down at his phone, eyes skipping over Yugyeom. Yugyeom tightens his jaw, but keeps smiling anyways.

“I’m going to go find something to eat.” Park Jinyoung says to Younghyun, ignoring both Mark and Yugyeom, and wanders off.

“Sorry. He’s in a bit of a bad mood tonight.” Younghyun apologizes.

“It’s no big deal.” Mark replies with a shrug. “Now tell me about the songs you’ve been writing.”

\--

An hour and a half later, Yugyeom is going to make his sneaky escape from the event, and go home to watch dance videos until he falls asleep. He just has to get his coat.

There’s someone inside the coat room, if the light is any indicator. Yugyeom peeks through the crack in the door to see if he’ll get caught sneaking out early.

Except it’s Younghyun’s friend from earlier and he’s looking at his phone in frustration. Yugyeom could just walk away. Jinyoung looks annoyed. He probably doesn’t want to talk to Yugyeom anyways. They’re strangers.

But then Jinyoung throws himself onto the sofa and makes a kind of strangled noise. Right on top of Yugyeom’s coat.

Yugyeom pauses. On one hand, he doesn’t want to bother Jinyoung, who clearly looks upset. But on the other hand, he wants to leave and his leather jacket cost close to a thousand dollars. So he probably shouldn’t just leave it. Yugyeom shifts his weight a few times, and then opens the door to the room. Park Jinyoung doesn’t even look up.

“Hey, not to bother you, but you’re kind of lying on my jacket.” Yugyeom says quietly. Jinyoung practically whips his head around to see who it is.

“Oh. Sorry.” Park Jinyoung says, and stands up quickly. “Yugyeom, right?” He asks, and Yugyeom nods. He puts his jacket on. Jinyoung watches him, and then settles back on the couch, head in his hands.

“You look miserable.” Yugyeom says. “Why are you even here?” Jinyoung genuinely snorts. Yugyeom knows he’s being rude, but he’s already gone and said it.

“Wow. Right to the point huh?” Jinyoung asks and Yugyeom can only shrug. “I’m not miserable.” Jinyoung adds.

“You kind of look like it.” Yugyeom replies. “You don’t have to be here. Younghyun isn’t paying you.”

“No. He isn’t.” Jinyoung confirms. “I guess I should leave then.”

“Do you want to go get something to eat with me?” Yugyeom asks all of sudden. He has no reason to ask this virtual stranger to do anything really, especially one that has been cold to him at best, and rude at worst. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to be here, and neither does Jinyoung, so they do have something in common.

Jinyoung looks at him for a second like he’s crazy, and maybe Yugyeom is. Yugyeom is sure that he’s going to say no.

“Whatever.” He says after a beat. “Let’s go.”

\--

They wind up at a tiny noodle place a few blocks away -- one of the only restaurants open this late. The soup is hot, and Jinyoung orders soju for the two of them and it makes the draft coming from the door, and the chatter of the drunk salarymen next to them more tolerable.

“Sorry it isn’t nicer.” Jinyoung says abruptly as they start eating.

“Why? This is fine.”

“Well you’re like a big time celebrity or whatever.” Jinyoung replies. Yugyeom rolls his eyes, but he takes his phone out to message his driver the address of the restaurant.

“So I can’t go to a tiny restaurant owned by an ahjussi?” Yugyeom asks, teasing. “I don’t think that’s how it works just because I’m an idol or whatever.” Jinyoung hums. “Plus my parents own a restaurant like this. They make kimbap and noodles, so I spent my whole childhood like this.”

“Really?” Jinyoung asks. Yugyeom nods, taking a big bite of soup. “They must be proud of you for taking care of them.”

“I try. They took care of me, I take care of them.”

“Is that some kind of media soundbyte?” Jinyoung asks, almost bitterly.

“What? No.” Yugyeom says, furrowing his eyebrows. “You’re not with the media are you?”

“No.” Jinyoung says. “I’m an engineer.”

“Oh, cool. I wish I was smart enough to do that.” Jinyoung is silent. “I’m an idol some of the time, but not everything I say is perfect.” Yugyeom says slowly and Jinyoung nods.

“That sounds exactly like what you’d say to an interviewer.” Jinyoung says, eyes narrowed, but Yugyeom gets the distinct sense that he’s teasing him.

“Maybe so.” Yugyeom replies, and sticks his tongue out at Jinyoung, whose eyes widen but then he’s laughing slightly.

Jinyoung refills their glasses.

“I can’t drink much. I have a schedule tomorrow.” Yugyeom says.

“More for me then.” Jinyoung replies, stealing Yugyeom’s glass away from him.

“Hey!” Yugyeom whines. Jinyoung just smirks at him.

“Oops.” He says, and downs the soju.

“My lips were on that.” Yugyeom says.

“So? You probably don’t have cooties.” Jinyoung replies.

“I do not have cooties.” Yugyeom says darkly.

“So I’m right then.” Jinyoung says with another smirk, drinking from his own glass.

“Yeah yeah. Alright. Mr. Know-it-all.” Yugyeom responds teasingly.

The conversation comes to a natural lull, the two of them more focused on eating than actually on talking.

“You didn’t ask me about why I was upset earlier.” Jinyoung says casually after a few minutes. Yugyeom wonders how best to approach this conversation.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk about it.” Yugyeom replies with a shrug. Jinyoung eyes him carefully.

“I didn’t.” Yugyeom hums in response. “My girlfriend just broke up with me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Yugyeom says.

“I knew it was coming. It’s okay. You didn’t have anything to do with it.” Jinyoung replies quickly. He doesn’t really look okay though. Yugyeom looks more closely -- there are bags under Jinyoung’s eyes, and his skin looks a bit sallow.

“Enough of this depressing talk. I know lots of beautiful girls, just let me know if you want me to set you up with one of them.” Yugyeom says and Jinyoung actually laughs for the first time, a bright and clear sound. His eyes crinkle attractively.

“Really? Anyone?”

“Within reason.”

“Hani from EXID? Mijoo from Lovelyz?”

“Mhmm, we’ll have to see.” Yugyeom teases. “I don’t know if you’re their type.” Jinyoung laughs again.

“I’m probably not good enough.”

“Probably not.” Yugyeom agrees. “I don’t think anyone is.”

“Not you?”

“Definitely not.” He answers with a snort. Jinyoung smiles, maybe the first real smile that Yugyeom has seen on him all night.

They fight over the bill, with Yugyeom saying that he’s the one who invited Jinyoung out, and Jinyoung asking him his age, and then saying that he’s older than Yugyeom. Eventually Jinyoung winds up winning only because he physically snatches the bill from Yugyeom’s hands.

“But you’re the one whose girlfriend broke up with you.” Yugyeom grumbles.

“Wow, you’re worse at grumbling than a girlfriend.” Jinyoung teases as he taps his card. Yugyeom suddenly realizes that he doesn’t know what to do next. What do you do after you’ve had dinner with a veritable stranger? He slowly puts his coat on.

“Do you want me to call you a cab?”

“No, there’s a train station just a block away, I should be okay.” Jinyoung says.

“Okay. My manager could probably give you a ride to the station?”

“You’ve already done enough for me tonight.” Jinyoung replies with a smile, showing his eye crinkles. Yugyeom always wished he had eye fat like that -- everyone says its cute.

“It’s no big deal.” He says in response.

“Hey! Can I get your KKT ID or something?” Jinyoung asks, and then his eyes widen. “Shit, that was weird, never mind. I’m not like stalking you or anything. Forget it.”

“No! I mean, it’s fine.” Yugyeom answers. “Here, give me your phone.” Jinyoung hands his phone over and Yugyeom types in his ID. He doesn’t even really know why he’s doing it -- it isn’t as if they’re friends or anything.

“Thank you for tonight. I had fun. More fun than I thought I would.” Jinyoung blurts out. Yugyeom is just realizing that this is how Jinyoung is -- painfully honest.

“Good. I’m glad.”

“I’ll message you.” Jinyoung says, and Yugyeom gets the distinct feeling that he means it.

“Cool. I’ll check my phone.” He replies with a small smile.

His manager shows up a few minutes later with the van, and Yugyeom collapses into a seat. He hadn’t realized how tired he was. It was supposed to be a quiet night at an event, and then he was going to go to bed early. Fuck.

They’re halfway across the city when Yugyeom’s phone buzzes with a new message. He looks down to see it’s from Jinyoung. It’s the strangest thing, but it doesn’t feel weird or out of place to have Jinyoung messaging him.

\--

**pepi_jy_**

**um, this is jinyoung**

**from earlier**

**yu_gyeom**

**hey**

**you got to the train station okay?**

**pepi_jy_**

**yeah! i’m almost home**

**wait, is that weird**

**tonight was weird already, but like good weird**

**yu_gyeom**

**I think you had too much to drink**

**:P**

**pepi_jy_**

**did i really have noodles with yugyeom from got6?**

**or is this a dream?**

**yu_gyeom**

**hehe, there are lots of ppl who dream about me ;)**

**join the club**

**pepi_jy_**

**oh my god**


	2. let me down with a look (it’s too much)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you so much for the love on the first chapter! <3 <3 <3 I’m sorry for such a long delay in between chapters. So I wrote a longer chapter to make up for it. I also still don’t know how many chapters this is going to be. I’ll get that figured out (and outline this fic properly) before the next update. 
> 
> I wish I could promise that there won’t be such a gap again, but I’m not sure if I can. But I can promise you that I have so much Jingyeom coming, you won’t even know what to do with yourselves :D 
> 
> Chapter title from the song “I Want to Go” by Part Time

They don’t text each other after that night.

Yugyeom doesn’t respond to Jinyoung’s message because he falls asleep as soon as he gets home, and then they just don’t talk to each other.

Jinyoung doesn’t message him, and Yugyeom doesn’t want to bother Jinyoung. He clearly has a life beyond texting someone he’s only met once. Even if they aren’t really strangers after that night, not really. Yugyeom still isn’t totally sure how he managed to wind up eating noodles and drinking soju with a cranky stranger. But Jinyoung wasn’t that bad once he got talking -- it was just initially that he was an asshole.

He deliberates deleting the contact, but then he thinks of Jinyoung’s eye crinkles, and decides to leave it in his phone. Whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t have tons of other contacts that he hardly ever talks to. Jinyoung isn’t special.

—

His life goes on, like it always does. GOT6 had been on a bit of a longer break to allow room for Jackson’s solo activities, but they’re gearing up for their next comeback. They’d prepared the album the month before, going through the process of recording and re-recording, filming the music video for the lead single, preparing photos, and practicing the choreography. Now it’s crunch time -- rehearsing, rehearsing, rehearsing. Yugyeom can feel the exhaustion in his bones, combined with a low thrum of anticipation for their fans to hear their new song.

He’d go crazy if he didn’t know that his hyungs were going through the exact same thing, the same struggles. It’s a weird life, being an idol, and Yugyeom doesn’t think he could do it alone. But at the same time, it’s terribly lonely. People always want something from him, even if they don’t realize it. Fame, attention, money -- everyone wants something from him, and Yugyeom gets a little tired of it sometimes.

Their official dating ban is over, but he stays away from dating anyways. He knows some of the others have girlfriends, or at least some kind of casual arrangements, but it’s always been easier for Yugyeom to steer clear of the whole thing entirely. He dated a few girls before they’d debuted, but since then he’d just avoided any kind of dating.

It also adds to the already confusing of dating as an idol that he likes guys too. It’s not that there aren’t gay idols, but they most certainly don’t broadcast that. It’s not uncommon for some idols to not even date at all, so the gay ones blend right in with no visible interest in dating. Plus, Yugyeom can give off the illusion of being completely available for his fans -- no silly girls to get in his fans’ illusions of romance. He realizes that it’s probably fucked up to think like that, but if he can protect himself, and make his fans happy, then it’s worth it.

Even if he is lonely some of the time. He has his friends outside of the group, and GOT6 obviously, and his managers, and staff who he gets along with. But he can’t date. Not truly happily. Probably not for a long time. It isn’t worth the risk, not for anyone. He knows that he gets attention: there have been a few guys, a few idols even who have shown interest in him, but that would make the whole thing doubly dangerous.

Besides, there’s the other dark side of being an idol -- the fact that he isn’t just Kim Yu Gyeom, he’s Yugyeom from GOT6, and there are countless videos and pictures of him on the internet as his stage persona, not the real him. There are always expectations -- why isn’t he cuter, or more put-together, or more talkative, or better dressed? But he’s just a person, on top of being an idol.

\--

Their preparations accelerate. Yugyeom doesn’t message Jinyoung, and Jinyoung doesn’t message Yugyeom. A release date is announced, and the cycle of promotions begin again. It’s their fourth mini-album, so it hasn’t been an entire album’s worth of work. Yugyeom exists in a state of permanent simultaneous exhaustion and excitement.

He’s excited for their fans to hear their new album, to hold, and hear the physical evidence of all their hours of hard work. But he’s also tired as shit, and his diet makes him grumpy.

\--

The week before their comeback, Yugyeom is just curled up in bed after a gruelling day of meetings and practice when his phone rings. The caller ID tells him that it’s Jinyoung calling him. At two in the morning. Yugyeom hesitates to pick up. Technically there’s nothing between the two of them besides one dinner together. No contact in a month. They’re not friends. They’re barely acquaintances. There would be nothing wrong with letting the call go unanswered.

Yugyeom picks up on the second last ring, and he can’t even justify to himself why.

“Hello?”

“Kim Yugyeom.” Jinyoung drawls on the other line. He sounds drunk.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” Jinyoung pauses. “Yes. Very.” Yugyeom snorts. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I wasn’t laughing, I swear.” Yugyeom says.

“Good.” Jinyoung replies petulantly. “What are you doing right now?”

“Lying in bed.” Yugyeom answers.

“Kinky.” Jinyoung says.

“It’s really not.” Yugyeom replies. He can see his double chin in the reflection of his laptop, and he has a mask on for his dry skin so he looks greasy as hell.

“Mmm, what if I was there though?” Jinyoung asks, and Yugyeom just about chokes on his own saliva. Surely Jinyoung can’t be insinuating what Yugyeom thinks he’s insinuating.

“You’d be asleep.” Yugyeom quips back, eager to defuse the situation from something possibly alarming. Jinyoung snorts in response.

“You should come out.” Jinyoung says. “It would be fun.”

“I would if I didn’t have work tomorrow morning.”

“On a Sunday? Boo.”

“I know right?” Yugyeom says with a laugh. It turns out that Jinyoung has even less of a filter when he’s drunk than when he’s sober.

“Ugh. I’m drunk.” Jinyoung says. “And I’m lonely. Come hang out.”

“I can’t.” Yugyeom repeats.

“Another time then.” Jinyoung huffs. “I had fun with you that night.” Yugyeom feels a strange sense of satisfaction at Jinyoung’s words.

“Another time.” He echoes.

“How was your day?” Jinyoung asks suddenly, changing the topic.

“Long. Tiring.”

“Mine was shit.” Jinyoung says. “My boss was on my ass, and I miss my ex.”

“I thought you said you weren’t mad about the breakup?”

“I’m not.” Jinyoung mumbles, barely audible over the phone. “I just miss her is all.”

“I can’t help you there man. I’m the last person to ask for relationship advice.”

“Really? But don’t you have girls all over you?” Yugyeom laughs.

“Not quite.” He answers.

“But you’re an idol.” Jinyoung practically whines.

“It doesn’t really work like that.” Yugyeom says. “But I know it’ll get easier as time goes on. And you never know what’ll happen. You could meet someone anytime, anywhere.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re nice.” Jinyoung says, sounding sleepy. “Too nice.” Yugyeom laughs again.

“Do you have a way home?”

“Yeah. I should probably get going. It’s late.”

“It really is.”

“Good night.” Jinyoung says quietly.

“Good night Jinyoung.” Yugyeom says, and Jinyoung hangs up on him.

He rolls over and stares at the wall. The moonlight is shining through the sliver of the window that it never quite covers, and he suddenly feels too awake. What a strange conversation, he thinks.

\--

Rehearsal the next morning is fucking hard, made no easier by the fact that Yugyeom stayed up late talking to Jinyoung.

They’re so close to their comeback that the choreographers and managers tell them to put their phones away until they’re completely done practicing. Youngjae and Bambam grumble, but they manage to deal. They run through the choreography over and over and over, until Yugyeom feels the exhaustion settle heavy into his bones. But their comeback is in four days, and they’re all feeling the pressure to improve, to work as hard as they can for their fans.

He comes out of rehearsal just before midnight, sweaty and disgusting, to see a new message from Jinyoung, from almost fourteen hours ago. Yugyeom wonders if it’s even worth responding to this late. But his curiosity about what Jinyoung is messaging him about. He opens the messages as they’re shepherded out to the van.

\--

**park jinyoung**

**um, so apparently i called you last night**

**for twenty minutes?**

Oh, Yugyeom realizes, that’s why Jinyoung is messaging him. No other reason. Right.

**kim yugyeom**

**hey sorry, i was busy**

**oh, ya lol**

Jinyoung texts back right away to Yugyeom’s surprise.

**park jinyoung**

**it’s midnight**

**i don’t remember anything we talked about**

**kim yugyeom**

**way to make me feel good**

**park jinyoung**

**no, i mean, i was really drunk**

**and i don’t remember anything**

**i’m sorry**

**kim yugyeom**

**lol**

**um, basically we just kinda chatted**

**i laughed at u for being drunk**

**it really wasn’t a big deal**

**park jinyoung**

**but still, we talked for 20 minutes lol**

“Who are you texting this late Gyeom-ah?” Jaebum asks with a sleepy yawn.

“No one.” Yugyeom answers without even looking up from his phone.

“It doesn’t sound like no one.” Jackson says from where he’s leaning on Jaebum. “Gyeom?”

“It’s really no one.” Yugyeom repeats.

**kim yugyeom**

**yeah**

**i guess you’re chattier when ur drunk**

**park jinyoung**

**…**

**is that a jab at the fact that i haven’t messaged u since we met**

**kim yugyeom**

**if you want it to be**

**or it can just be a fact that you talk more when u aren’t sober**

Jinyoung hasn’t responded by the time that they get dropped at the apartment complex where they all live, so Yugyeom makes his way up to his apartment quietly. Youngjae and Bambam head off to their apartments down the hall from, while Jaebum, Jackson, and Mark keep going to their floor, bidding him a goodnight. Everyone is eager for sleep tonight, Yugyeom thinks, himself included. They have a busy week ahead of them.

He showers quickly, and gets ready for bed, forgetting about Jinyoung’s texts, until he gets back to his room and finds three new messages waiting for him.

**park jinyoung**

**i’m sorry i didn’t message you**

**idk why i didn’t, i had a good time with you**

**maybe this is weird, but do you want to get coffee or smthing sometime?**

Yugyeom stares at the messages for a minute, trying to decipher what’s going on. On one hand, Jinyoung technically ignored him for a month. But now he’s not just apologizing for that, he’s asking if Yugyeom wants to hang out? Yugyeom is confused. He doesn’t know how to respond.

**kim yugyeom**

**i’m pretty busy rn**

**but i’ll see what i can do**

Yugyeom isn’t lying, GOT6 is going to drop their single the following week. Even if he wanted to, which he isn’t totally sure that he does, he doesn’t know if he has time. The comeback crunch is insane.

**park jinyoung**

**no worries!**

**just let me know**

\--

Yugyeom can’t hang out. GOT6 release their mini-album, and he can’t do anything except work. He shoots a message to Jinyoung in between pre-recording sessions for Music Bank. Jinyoung seems understanding.

Somewhere along the way, they settle into casual conversations, just little messages here and there. Not about anything in particular, mostly because Yugyeom is busy so much, and Jinyoung has his own life.

\--

**park jinyoung**

**i heard your new song on the radio**

**kim yugyeom**

**oh cool! did u like it?**

**park jinyoung**

**you sound the same but different when you sing**

Yugyeom doesn’t message him back to say that he didn’t answer Yugyeom’s question.

\--

One of the music shows ends up being cancelled for that week though, because of union problems, so Yugyeom winds up with more free time than he’d thought. He messages Jinyoung asking him if he wants to hang out, and Jinyoung agrees right away. They’re going to get coffee, something Yugyeom doesn’t do that often. Mostly because he doesn’t actually drink coffee, but also because if he goes with the other members, they just go in and out to avoid any ruckus. And he does other things with his other friends. They just don’t do stuff like, go get coffee and sit and talk.

\--

“I’m coming over this afternoon.” Bambam says on the mo, shoving Yugyeom over on the sofa. He has an unfortunate habit of letting himself into Yugyeom’s apartment uninvited, and today is no exception.

“You’re in right now.”

“To let you know that I’m coming over later.”

“You could’ve texted.”

“What’s the fun in that? Anyways, I’m coming over later.”

“Sure, but I won’t be home.” Yugyeom says distractedly, messaging something to his manager to let him know that he’s going out.

“You’re a hermit though.” Bambam replies, narrowing his eyes.

“Not all the time.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Well today I’m not.”

“Oh, who are you hanging out with?” Bambam asks, looking far too intrigued.

“A new friend.” Yugyeom says. “You don’t know them.”

“A new friend?” Bambam asks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I guess you could call Eunha a new-”

“Shut up. It’s really not like that.”

“Sorry we aren’t all a monk like you.” Bambam teases. Yugyeom just rolls his eyes.

“I’ll see you later though, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll bring dinner, you set up the anime.” Bambam says and ruffles his hair. Yugyeom swats his hand away to no avail. “Have fun with your friend.” He says, with all kinds of emphasis on the word friend.

Yugyeom watches Bambam amble out of his apartment, taking his time.

\--

Jinyoung wants to meet for a coffee at one of the trendy cafes in Myeongdong, and it’s full of people, which probably should’ve tipped Yugyeom off, but he’s wearing his hood up, and he doesn’t have makeup on, which means that he isn’t immediately recognizable.

They meet up outside. Jinyoung almost doesn’t spot him, which Yugyeom takes to be a good sign. He has to wave his arms like a slight lunatic to get

“I didn’t see you.” Jinyoung says sheepishly. “You’re so incognito.”

“A trick of the trade.” Yugyeom says with a wink. It’s the strangest thing, how comfortable he feels around Jinyoung. By all accounts, they shouldn’t get along this well for having only met once before.

“Woah, it’s busy in here.” Jinyoung says, peering into the window of the busy shop. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Okay.” Jinyoung says, and goes into the cafe first.

They order one after another. For a moment, Yugyeom wonders if he should pay for Jinyoung, but it isn’t a date. They’re just two kind of friends. Emphasis on the ‘kind of’, Yugyeom thinks.

“So…” Yugyeom tapers off once they have their drinks and are sitting at a table. He wants to ask why they’re here, why Jinyoung invited them out

“I wanted to apologize for not texting you. That was a dick move.” Jinyoung blurts out. His fingers are toying with the straw of his iced coffee.

“It’s fine.” Yugyeom replies quickly. “It’s not like we’re super close.” He says, and then closes his mouth. That didn’t come out like he wanted. “Um. Shit. No.” Jinyoung laughs.

“I know what you mean. Don’t worry.” Jinyoung says, and it’s like the tension is broken. Like the two of them are back to where they began -- having known almost nothing about each other, but spending time together anyways.

“I didn’t text either, to be fair.” Yugyeom offers.

“I just… I had fun with you that night. You made me feel better. But I felt like you didn’t see my best side. So I was embarrassed.”

“It’s fine.” Yugyeom says quickly. “I really didn’t think anything of it.”

“And then I called you when I was drunk.” Jinyoung says with a groan. “I’m so sorry. I was completely pissed.”

“It’s really fine.” Yugyeom says with a laugh. “Maybe a little embarrassing for you, but you didn’t say much. You asked me how my day was.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. I promise it wasn’t weird.”

“If you don’t watch out, I’ll call you again when I’m drunk.” Jinyoung threatens, but there’s no real bite to it.

“Ooh, I mean. It was horrible. You should never.” Yugyeom teases.

“Pfft.” Jinyoung says, pouting his lips slightly. “Rude.”

\--

The next morning Yugyeom wakes up to a text from Jinyoung.

**park jinyoung**

**im in this photo**

**(Click link to open in browser.)**

Curious, Yugyeom clicks on the link, which pulls up an article from a low-bar paparazzi site. There’s only one photo in the article, and it has Yugyeom and Jinyoung in it. It’s a quick shot from when they left the cafe, Yugyeom off to a meeting, and Jinyoung back to work.

Jinyoung is just barely in the shot, the only really recognizable part of him is his side profile. Which, Yugyeom realizes after looking at the photo for a minute, is quite handsome. In some ways, Jinyoung looks like more of an celebrity than Yugyeom. He has that classic handsome quality to him, Yugyeom thinks, like an actor. He casts the thought aside. He hardly knows Jinyoung -- he shouldn’t be thinking of him as handsome, even if he is.

It’s nothing new to Yugyeom, he has his photo taken all the time -- whether by the paparazzi or by fans. It’s stranger for him to not get his photo taken. But when he thinks back to when he first debuted, he remembers how strange it was to have his photo taken even if he was just stopping in the grocery store for green onions or something. So maybe Jinyoung has a point. Yugyeom rarely reads the comments on articles that mention him, for the good of his blood pressure and sanity, but Jinyoung attached a screenshot of the top comments of the article he came across. Most are commenting on how tired Yugyeom looks -- which is true, but there are a few mentioning Jinyoung -- albeit not by name obviously. One asks why Yugyeom’s manager is so handsome, while another comments on Yugyeom’s model friend. Someone else who seems to be a fan comments that they don’t recognize Jinyoung, that he isn’t Yugyeom’s manager, but rather that he must be a friend. Yugyeom texts Jinyoung back quickly, trying to gauge how he'll respond.

**kim yugyeom**

**my handsome friend huh?**

**park jinyoung**

**shut up**

**kim yugyeom**

**are you really mad that your photo got taken?**

**park jinyoung**

**no**

**its just kinda weird**

**but im really not mad**

**kim yugyeom**

**:)**

**kinda part of the deal now u know a famous person**

**well, im not that famous but whateve** r

\--

Two weeks of promoting turn into three, and then GOT6 is winding up their promotions. Jinyoung invites Yugyeom out for coffee again, and Yugyeom is less hesitant to say yes this time.

\--

Yugyeom is careful this time to arrange their meeting to be somewhere quiet, somewhere where someone taking photos would stand out immediately. He doesn’t really mind, but it seems like Jinyoung does. He gets Jinyoung to meet him at a tucked away cafe in a neighbourhood far away from the entertainment part of town, where they’re much less likely to be recognized. It’s a cute plant-themed cafe that Youngjae had told him about, and once Yugyeom shows up, he realizes that the patrons are almost entirely couples. He’s just wondering if it’s too late to ask Jinyoung to meet somewhere else, or make a run for it, when Jinyoung himself comes through the door, brushing his hand through his mussed hair. He really does look effortlessly handsome, Yugyeom thinks, just dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt.

“Hey.” Jinyoung says. “Did you order already?” Yugyeom just holds up his blended drink in response. “Blegh. I don’t know if that counts as coffee, but okay.”

“Tastes better than coffee.” Yugyeom responds, and takes a large dramatic sip for emphasis. Jinyoung just rolls his eyes.

“I’ll be right back.” Jinyoung says, and goes up to the counter to order. Yugyeom watches a girl check him out, even with her boyfriend beside her. Jinyoung just seems to be the type to have that effect.

Jinyoung’s order comes out quick, some kind of adult drink Yugyeom notes, and Jinyoung comes back to the table, swerving to avoid the hanging plants.

“This is a cute place. How’d you hear about it?” Jinyoung says, looking around at all the greenery and fresh flowers. It really would be a perfect place for a date, if Yugyeom did that type of thing.

“A friend of mine.” Yugyeom answers. Actually, he realizes belatedly, Youngjae may have recommended it as a date spot. Anyways.

“It’s cool. I’ll have to remember it.” Jinyoung says. “Do you take your girlfriend here?”

“Um. Not quite.” Yugyeom says with a cough.

“Speaking of girlfriends, my ex saw the photos of me and you. She wanted to know how I know you.” Jinyoung says with a snort.

“Do you need me to insult her online or something?” Yugyeom asks, only half joking.

“No, I should be okay. Thank you though.”

“You still talk to your ex?”

“Kind of. It’s complicated.” Jinyoung admits. “We were friends before we started dating, and we’re still friends.” Yugyeom hums in response. “Sometimes I don’t even know why we dated in the first place.”

“It happens.”

“Sorry. I’m rambling.” Jinyoung says, and his expression closes off slightly.

“No! I mean, it’s fine. We’re friends now, so you can tell me about stuff like that.” Yugyeom says, trying not to blush. Good god, he thinks, he’s blushing at saying that he thinks of them as friends. Jinyoung looks at him sharply and Yugyeom wonders if he made a mistake, if he misconstrued the two of them.

“Thank you.” Jinyoung says, a smile growing across his face. “Thanks Yugyeom-ah.” Yugyeom blushes at the informal name. Only his family, manager, and GOT6 call him that.

“It’s nothing.” Yugyeom mumbles.

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m friends with a famous idol.” Jinyoung says slowly, like he’s testing how the words sound. Yugyeom blinks at him, confused.

“What - you don’t like idols or something?” He asks.

“I just don’t really listen to pop music.” Jinyoung answers with a shrug. “I’ve always thought it was a bit fake.” Yugyeom grits his teeth.

“It’s not all fake.” He says lightly. It isn’t. There are certainly elements that are fake, but there are others that are not. He knows the arguments for

“I don’t know. It just seems like it.” Jinyoung replies nonchalantly, seemingly unaware of Yugyeom’s discomfort.

“You know you’re talking to someone who makes pop music.”

“Yeah, so you know exactly how fake it is.” Jinyoung says, eyes practically twinkling. He’s amused by the whole thing, Yugyeom realizes. He thinks it’s funny.

“Mmm.” Yugyeom hums noncommittally. “So what kind of music do you listen to then?” Yugyeom asks, eager for a change in the topic.

“Bits of this and that.”

“Just not pop music.”

“No.”

“Mmm.”

“I like music I swear!” Jinyoung says with a laugh, and launches into a story about how he met Younghyun through a music class at university.

“You can take music classes in engineering?”

“You remembered?”

“I wasn’t the one drinking that night.” Yugyeom teases.

“Yes. We could take a few options, even in engineering.”

“Someday I’d like to go to university, but I don’t know what I would major in.” Yugyeom says wistfully. “Is music too blase?”

“I don’t think so. You should do what you love.”

“There isn’t anything I love more than music.” Yugyeom muses.

“Then you should do it.” Jinyoung says, offering Yugyeom a warm smile, and he forgets all about their earlier tension. 


	3. and there's something left to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, it's me again. I'm sorry about the slow updates. I know it's been like three months. Basically, I'm super busy and also have a lot of fics on the go (MY OWN FAULT YELL AT ME) and I can't update as often as I'd like, but just know that this fic is always in my mind and I will update it when I can! :D you know I love Jingyeom. You know I can't give it up (give it up give it up give it up uh-huh). 
> 
> Chapter title from "Give It Up" by Hawaiian Gremlins

Before Yugyeom knows it, GOT6's promotions have come to a full close. The end of promotions brings with it a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, Yugyeom is happy for a rest from the insanity that comes with promoting. But on the other hand, he already misses the rigour, misses the fans, and feels a slight sense of guiltiness that comes with resting. He could be working. He could be rehearsing. He could be doing something. He should be doing something.

It's exhausting sometimes, during a comeback, but yet it's the best feeling in the world, Yugyeom thinks.

But he also needs to sleep, and eat, and do the things that he wasn't able to do when he was in the middle of promotions. He's excited to finally be able to take some time and just relax. Not have to put on his act of being Yugyeom, just be him.

He spends the first few days after finishing up promotions the same way he always does -- sleeping. He only gets out of bed to get the takeout he orders, and spends the rest of the time mindlessly watching TV, and texting the other members. He knows that Youngjae has been waiting for a chance to go on vacation, and Jackson has been in China since they finished their schedules. Jaebum, Bambam, and Mark are all off spending time with their friends, and Yugyeom is just doing nothing, like he always does.

The only plans that he has are for his parents to come visit, which Yugyeom is both looking forward to and dreading.

\--

"You're too skinny!" His mother says as soon as she comes in the door.

"He'll gain weight now." His father responds, pulling Yugyeom in for a tight hug. "We watched you on TV!"

"My handsome son!"

"Thanks Mom." Yugyeom says, still blushing despite the fact that she's told him that countless times. She's already headed straight for the kitchen to put away the endless supply of food she's brought with her. Yugyeom would be grateful if it weren't for the fact that not everything is on his diet (not that he could ever tell his mother that).

His parents tell him about their friends, about their friends' kids, about their friends' kids' girlfriends and boyfriends.

"Any girls in your life?" His mom pries. "Any nice girls?"

"Should we be expecting someone home soon?" His father asks. Yugyeom has to actively avoid rolling his eyes. His parents have always been relentless about his lack of a love life, and it only seems to be getting worse as he gets older. God forbid he be twenty and single, Yugyeom thinks.

"No." He answers. "Too busy."

"You'll always be too busy with that attitude." His mother chides. "And you'll always be single. Do you want that for your mom?"

"And dad." His dad chimes in. Yugyeom's eyes twitch.

"No. Of course not." He answers smoothly.

"So if I have some nice girls-"

"No." Yugyeom answers quickly. "Thank you though."

"Well, if you change your mind." She replies primly.

"Trust me." Yugyeom says. "I don't think that I will."

If only she knew what he meant.

\--

His parents stay for a week, and Yugyeom doesn't remember the last time he ate so much food, or heard so much about his hometown. He almost misses it sometimes. Almost. In a lot of ways, he thinks, the idol community is like his hometown. Everyone knows everything about everyone. Secrets never last long, and gossip reigns over everything. It's a microcosm of the worst parts of life, Yugyeom thinks sometimes. He isn't even as bitter as some idols he knows, some that have given up on being an idol, or just let themselves fade out of the limelight. Sometimes he wonders if it would be easier that way. Maybe he'd be happier. Maybe.

\--

Yugyeom is at home the next night, watching re-runs of early noughts movies when a thought strikes him.

He hadn't thought of it before, but he can go out with Jinyoung now that he's done promoting and doesn't need to get up early. Then he can brag to Bambam about going out, and not even with his bandmates. With someone non-famous (and isn't it sad, he thinks, that that's something to brag about in their group). And, Jinyoung might just go for it.

**yu_gyeom**   
**hey!**   
**i can go out drinking now that im done promotions!!!**

Jinyoung texts back instantly.

**pepi_jy_**   
**good**   
**let's do it**   
**are you good for tonight**

**yu_gyeom**   
**yeah!!!**

\--

Yugyeom had let Jinyoung pick the bar, so he finds himself in a part of town that he doesn't usually frequent. It's hipster-ish, but not necessarily trendy, which is good. It reduces the chances of him being recognized. He'd dressed down anyways, covering his grown out hair in a cap, and wearing simple jeans and a sweatshirt. Nothing flashy. Nothing designer.

Jinyoung is already there saving them a seat, and he's already ordered a drink by the looks of it. He gives Yugyeom a sedate wave, and Yugyeom smiles back.

"Hey." Jinyoung says when Yugyeom gets in earshot. "What's the cause for going out?"

"Do I need one?" Yugyeom asks. "I felt like it. And also I really thought I might go crazy if I stayed at home for another day."

"Fair enough." Jinyoung replies with a laugh. "Let me buy you a drink."

And so the drinking begins. Yugyeom feels himself grow happy and heavy from the soju and beers. He's relaxed in a way that he hasn't been in a while. When he's out with his members, they have to go to specific places or drink in a private room to avoid being recognized, and it isn't the same as sitting in a bar with a friend getting drunk.

There's an attractive flush on Jinyoung's cheeks that can only come from drinking. Yugyeom should probably pull his thoughts away from there -- Jinyoung is his very heterosexual friend.

"So you have rehearsals and stuff everyday?" Jinyoung asks, changing the subject from before -- which was just them shooting the shit.

"Not right now. Not for a few weeks and then we'll start talking about what we're doing next."

"Oh. Nice." Jinyoung says. "A true break."

"Yeah. Just what I needed." Yugyeom agrees.

"I guess I don't know anything about being an idol." Jinyoung says, slurring the ends of his words.

"You know about pop music... You know who Apink is." Yugyeom says, narrowing his eyes at Jinyoung.

"I maybe looked you up." Jinyoung replies with a shrug. "No big deal."

"No fair, I can't stalk you online." Yugyeom teases. "This is what I get for hanging out with someone not famous."

"Oh sorry." Jinyoung says, sticking his tongue out. "I'll just get famous right now."

"Good. Then I can be photographed with you."

"Hey those comments said I was handsome." Jinyoung says smugly. Yugyeom rolls his eyes.

"Okay Casanova. Calm down."

Beside them, a boisterous couple is doing a lover's shot and Yugyeom sees Jinyoung eye them strangely.

"My girlfriend would always ask to do lover's shots." Jinyoung says bitterly. Yugyeom feels the atmosphere between the two of them shift. It's partially the alcoholic bravery, and partially himself that pushes him to say what he does next.

"You should stop talking about your ex." Yugyeom says. "She's not here."

"What? And you are?" Jinyoung asks, snorting in an unflattering way.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that she's moved on, so maybe you should too."

"I'm not- I don't... I'm not like hung up on her."

"It kind of seems like you are." Yugyeom says, words falling off his tongue before he can even stop himself. Jinyoung breathes out heavily, and finishes the rest of his drink in one swig.

"I'm trying not to be." Jinyoung replies after he wipes his mouth. "I really am. But I haven't been single in like four years, and I just don't how to be single."

"Hmm."

"I know how stupid that sounds."

"It's a little stupid." Yugyeom concedes. "But you'll figure it out I'm sure."

"I'll drink to that." Jinyoung says, pouring them each another shot.

"Come on, let's do a lover's shot." Yugyeom blurts out, and Jinyoung laughs a bit, but he moves closer to Yugyeom anyways.

They link arms and take shots. Yugyeom carefully doesn't make eye contact, sure not to make Jinyoung uncomfortable. Honestly, Yugyeom hadn't even thought he'd go for it.

He doesn't think of much over the next few hours, only thinks about drinking more, about joking with Jinyoung. It's nice.

They pour out into the street at the end of the night, giggly and happy. Yugyeom doesn't remember feeling this free in a long time. He watches Jinyoung go, waves goodbye, and hails a cab back to his apartment.

On the ride home, he thinks about their night. He'd maybe been a little bold to offer to take lover's shot with Jinyoung, but then again, Jinyoung agreed. And Yugyeom doesn't really know what that means. He probably won't even remember in the morning, he thinks.

\--

Before he goes to bed though, he posts an Instagram photo -- something a little different. It's a shot of him in the bathroom, in just low-slung pants and a cap.

It's mostly the lighting, but it's also a little bit how lean he was after finishing up promotions, but before his parents had come to visit. Either way, the photo shows off his abdominal muscles. His company had been asking him to push a sexier, more mature image, and Yugyeom doesn't know any better way.

He watches the notifications ping in, all the comments and likes. It's doing well, if the initial number of likes are any indicator. And, unexpectedly, he gets a message from Jinyoung shortly after.

**pepi_jy_**   
**what is this?**

**yu_gyeom**   
**what is what?**

Jinyoung texts him a screenshot of his Instagram post, and Yugyeom sits up a little straighter. He hadn't even known that Jinyoung found his social media. He can't help but notice the illuminated heart on the photo though.

**yu_gyeom**   
**hehe look who liked it**

**pepi_jy_**   
**...**

**yu_gyeom**   
**did u follow me?**

**pepi_jy_**   
**Yes. Now follow me back.**

The next message is a screenshot of his Instagram profile. Yugyeom has to roll his eyes -- Jinyoung hasn't even uploaded a profile picture. Yugyeom hits follow anyways.

**yu_gyeom**   
**ur welcome**

\--

The next morning, Yugyeom wakes up to a pounding headache, and a trillion notifications on his phone. He finds a message from Jaebum too, inviting him out to breakfast. Yugyeom is just about to ignore the message, when there's a knock on his door, and Yugyeom stumbles over to see Jaebum on the other side.

Begrudgingly, he opens the door.

"Oof. You look rough."

"Thank hyung." Yugyeom says drily. "I appreciate it."

"Bambam told me you went out last night. I thought we could get some breakfast, get that hangover sorted."

"Ugh." Yugyeom replies. "Okay."

Jaebum takes him to a small restaurant close by and orders them both hangover soup and generous servings of brown rice.

"Don't frown at me. It's good for you." Jaebum nags when Yugyeom eyes the healthy looking food. "You need it more than you need greasy food."

"Do I really though?" Yugyeom grumbles.

"You do." Jaebum says in his leader voice.

They start to eat silently, until Jaebum puts his chopsticks down for a moment.

"I'm tired of being lonely." Jaebum says, chewing on his lip. Yugyeom blinks at him, unsure how to respond. He's never heard Jaebum say anything like before.

"Is everything okay hyung?"

"Yeah. I've just kind of decided that."

"Were you lonely before?"

"I just feel lonely sometimes." Jaebum says slowly, staring into his bowl.

"Well. If you feel like that, you know I'm here for you right?" Yugyeom asks slowly.

"Of course Yugyeom-ah. I just... Ah, never mind."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Jaebum answers decisively.

\--

"Thanks for breakfast." Yugyeom says when they're done. Even if it was a bit of strange meal, he appreciates Jaebum's effort all the same.

"No worries. Come on, I'll buy a choco shake before we head back." Jaebum replies, smiling that easy smile of his.

"Really?" Yugyeom asks, perking up instantly. Jaebum laughs, and claps a hand on his back.

"Yes. Really."

"I love you." Yugyeom crows, and Jaebum just grins.

"Ah, Yugyeom-ah. It's too easy to buy your love."

\--

"Do you want to do something later?" He asks Bambam over the phone on his way home, once Jaebum has bought his choco shake and they've gone their separate ways. Jaebum is off to the company for some meeting, and Yugyeom is free for the rest of the day.

"I'm busy today." Bambam explains.

"Oh, with that girl?" He asks.

"That girl? She's my girlfriend." Bambam replies nonchalantly, and Yugyeom just about spits out his drink.

"Girlfriend? Since when?"

"Since two weeks ago."

"You didn't say anything!"

"I thought you knew!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"I don't know, use your eyes?"

"I do!"

"Anyways. We're going out today."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." Yugyeom replies quietly, feeling oddly lonely.

Maybe it's the perpetually single Bambam declaring that he has a girlfriend. Or maybe it's Jaebum's conversation about being tired of loneliness. Or maybe it's just Yugyeom himself, but he finds himself texting Jinyoung.

\--

**yu_gyeom**   
**do you want to come over?**   
**i'm free today but im too lazy to leave my house**

**pepi_jy_**   
**Wow. It's kind of amazing how lazy you can be if you want to be.**   
**Sure.**   
**I've never been to an idol's place before.**

**yu_gyeom**   
**kekekeke**   
**now you will!**

\--

Jinyoung shows up at Yugyeom's apartment right when he said he'd arrive. Yugyeom is a little nervous, if he's being honest. He only ever has his close friends, family, and the rest of GOT6 over to his apartment, so he's nervous to have Jinyoung over.

His apartment is perfectly serviceable, in a nice apartment complex, in a swish part of town. That's part of the JYP package -- they insist on it, but Yugyeom doesn't know how it looks to other people. Does he look spoiled? Does he look silly?

But Jinyoung doesn't comment on any of that when he arrives.

"Don't you live in a dorm? With like bunk beds and the rest of your group?" Jinyoung asks as he toes off his shoes.

"I did when I was like sixteen. Now we all have our own apartments. They come over all the time though." Yugyeom says with a snort. Despite the fact that they don't have to spend twenty four hours together anymore, they somehow all still do, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally.

"Oh." Jinyoung says. "I guess I had this image in my head of like, Produce 101 or something."

"Mmm, this is way better than sharing with one hundred other people." Yugyeom says, and Jinyoung snorts.

"I bet. Hey, do you know anyone from Produce 101?"

"No. Well, probably. Like a friend of a friend knows them. But I don't personally know anyone."

"Lame." Jinyoung teases.

"I thought you were the one who doesn't like pop music? How do you even know about Produce 101?" Yugyeom asks, and Jinyoung decidedly closes his mouth. "Aha! Busted!"

"I won't say anything." Jinyoung says.

"Everyone loves pop music in some way." Yugyeom replies smugly. "Everyone."

"Whatever." Jinyoung replies, clearly wanting Yugyeom to drop the topic.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asks, and Jinyoung nods, so Yugyeom leads them into the kitchen. "Tea? Coffee? Juice?"

"Water is fine." Jinyoung answers, so Yugyeom opens the fridge to get the pitcher out. "I think you have enough food to last the apocalypse." Jinyoung says, looking at his fridge.

"My parents came to visit." Yugyeom says, gesturing to the Tupperware containers wrapped neatly in cloths.

"That's nice of them."

"My mom would force feed me if she could." Yugyeom grumbles. "My parents think I'm too skinny."

"You are pretty skinny." Jinyoung says, eyeing Yugyeom up and down. He doesn't know why he feels a sliver of self-consciousness at this action. People see him all the time. People judge him all the time. So why does it feel weird when Jinyoung does it?

"I'm fine." He answers, successfully avoiding the urge to blush.

It's kind of strange to see Jinyoung in his space like this. So far, Jinyoung has been the type of friend that Yugyeom knows in other places. In public places. There's something much more intimate about having Jinyoung in his own apartment.

He can see Jinyoung looking around, as if scoping it out.

"The embarrassing stuff is in the bathroom if you're looking for secret drugs and porn." Yugyeom says, and Jinyoung whips his head back, almost sheepishly.

"No, I'm not- I've just never been in a famous person's apartment. I thought it would be more..."

"Extravagant?" Yugyeom asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No."

"I'm not paid that much. Maybe some day. But not yet." Yugyeom replies with a laugh. "When I move into my mansion, I'll be sure to invite you over. Show you all my rooms of gifts."

"Gifts?" Jinyoung asks.

"Yeah." Yugyeom answers. "From fans."

"And you keep all of it?" Jinyoung asks, holding up a stack of fan letters faded from the sunbeam they've been sitting in.

"Of course. Well, not the food — my manager doesn't let me eat that."

"Makes sense. You'd be a terrible idol if you died from poisoning."

"Pretty much." Yugyeom agrees with a laugh. "You never know the kind of crazies out there. If they can't be with you, they want you to die."

"That's fucking weird." Jinyoung says and Yugyeom shrugs.

"I guess I'm just used to it."

"But you shouldn't have to be."

"It's part of the job."

"Did you always want to be an idol?"

"No." Yugyeom answers honestly. "I used to want to be a dancer more than anything."

"A dancer?"

"Yeah. And then I kind of stumbled into being an idol. I was accepted as a trainee, and then that was that. I found myself wanting a new dream."

"Oh. Wow."

"What's your dream?" Yugyeom asks, even though that's the cheesiest question he's ever asked. Luckily Jinyoung seems to take it seriously.

"I used to think it was a job, but now I'm not so sure. Engineering isn't really my dream."

"It can be a job. Or it could be something else."

"I'm not sure yet." Jinyoung answers thoughtfully. "I guess I'll have to figure it out along the way."

"That's what we all do. If I could make someone happy, through my performing and music, that's all I could ask for. Being an idol comes second to my dream."

"That's your dream?" Jinyoung asks. "You're sure that isn't a soundbyte from an interview?"

"Yes I'm sure." Yugyeom replies with a laugh. "But if you want an interview answer, I can give that to you as well."

"I'm good. I just want a Yugyeom answer." Jinyoung says, and Yugyeom smiles at him.

"I can do a Yugyeom answer."

\--

They wind up watching TV, which is ironically what Yugyeom would've done by himself. It seems different with someone else there though.

It's such a normal thing to do. Just something two, normal, non-famous people would do. Just sit and watch TV.

In the dim lighting, the outline of Jinyoung's face is even more striking. He really could be an idol, Yugyeom thinks.

Jinyoung moves slightly, and their feet are almost touching. Yugyeom doesn't even know why he's paying attention to that.

"Hey Yugyeom?" Jinyoung whispers after a few minutes.

"Hmm?

"Thanks for last night. Someone needed to tell me to snap out of my funk. I broke up with my girlfriend for a reason." Yugyeom just nods. Jinyoung continues. "I'm sorry for ranting about her."

"It's fine." Yugyeom says.

"No, it was probably super irritating."

"You're good." Yugyeom says. He unpauses the TV.

They settle into watching TV again, and Yugyeom feels himself growing sleepy. He slumps slightly into the side of the sofa, seeing Jinyoung watch him do that. Jinyoung seems to do that a lot -- watch him.

"That photo-" Jinyoung starts to say, when suddenly there's a noise from the front door, and Yugyeom knows Bambam is coming in to do something embarrassing. And sure enough-

"Yugyeom-ah! Why are the lights off you troll?" Bambam yells, and Yugyeom grimaces. "Seriously, are you jerking off in here? That's gross."

"Who is that?" Jinyoung asks Yugyeom, looking confused, just as Bambam comes into the living room and turns the lights on.

"Oh, sorry!" Bambam says, not looking very sorry at all. "Who are you?"

"Park Jinyoung." Jinyoung says, bowing slightly. "And you're Yugyeom's roommate?" Bambam almost howls at that.

"God no. I live across the hall."

"He's in GOT6 with me." Yugyeom explains and Jinyoung nods in understanding.

"So you're Yugyeom's friend then?" Bambam asks. "Oh! The one he was texting all late."

"No." Yugyeom replies, just as Jinyoung nods.

"Yeah. I guess so." Jinyoung says.

"Hmm." Bambam replies. "Well, I'm off! See you later Gyeom-ah!" And with that, he leaves just as fast as he came in.

"I'm sorry. That's Bambam. He's kind of insane."

"He has a key to your place?"

"I told him the code in a fit of weakness, and I've regretted it every day since." Yugyeom says darkly. Jinyoung snorts.

"He certainly seems to like to know everything about your life." Jinyoung says.

"Honestly he probably just wanted to tell me about his date." Yugyeom says. "I just found out that he has a girlfriend."

"Oh. Fun."

"Very. No -- he likes to share way too many details." Yugyeom replies with a shudder, remembering Bambam's tales of experimental BDSM.

"Huh."

"Mhmm." Yugyeom says. "What were you going to say before?"

"Oh. Nothing." Jinyoung replies quickly. "I forgot."

"Happens to the best of us." Yugyeom says. "Hey, thanks for today. It's fun to do normal stuff."

"You must do normal stuff sometimes." Jinyoung replies, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, I have normal friends but you're different somehow." He blurts out, and kind of instantly regrets it. It seems too intimate to say. He doesn't want to scare Jinyoung away or anything.

"I can do different." Jinyoung responds with a small smile. "You aren't like any of my other friends too, if that makes you feel any better." Somehow, it does, and Yugyeom doesn't really understand why.

\--

Yugyeom falls happily into life without promotions. GOT6 has to think about their new album at some point, but not in the immediate future, and even though he knows that Jaebum, Youngjae, and Bambam are always writing songs, he isn't quite there. He's written bits here and there, but he's not like Jaebum, who sees a girl on the bus and writes a song based on that image. Yugyeom needs a feeling.

\--

A surprising part of his life is Jinyoung. He's always had friends that weren't idols, but there's something about being around Jinyoung that makes him feel normal. Not be Yugyeom from GOT6 -- just be Kim Yu Gyeom, the person. He doesn't feel any of the pressures that he might otherwise feel. In front of Jinyoung he doesn't need to be hyper-groomed, or monitor what he says carefully. He can just speak how he feels, and look like how he feels.

They text regularly, and then somehow that turns into Jinyoung giving Yugyeom his Snapchat, and then it just shifts entirely from there. Suddenly, Yugyeom is talking to Jinyoung all the time, even just to share silly details. He Snapchats Jinyoung his meals, and Jinyoung Snapchats Yugyeom his days at work. It's nice. They talk about normal things, not about his idol life, and Yugyeom realizes that he'd missed that. Even his other friends will ask him about his work, not about the other parts of his life (even if those parts are sometimes nonexistent).

There's a certain kind of excitement that fills Yugyeom when he sees a notification from Jinyoung that he can't fully explain. He wouldn't even know how to quantify it, just knows that it makes him happy, makes him feel hopeful for something he can't lay out.

\--

"You're pretty close to this Jinyoung guy." Bambam says one day while they're hanging out and Yugyeom is only slightly glued to his phone texting Jinyoung.

"Yeah." Yugyeom replies absently. Jinyoung just sent him a funny meme, and he's only perfunctorily paying attention to Bambam.

"He's a bit weird." Bambam says, and Yugyeom doesn't even fully process what Bambam says until he finishes typing a message.

"What do you mean?" Yugyeom asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "He's not weird."

"I don't know. There's just something about him." Bambam says.

"Says you, who's met him once." Yugyeom chides. "Everyone thinks you're weird without even meeting you."

"Okay, that was low." Bambam says.

"He's nice. He's a good friend." Yugyeom replies. "I haven't really made any new friends in a while."

"Are you trying to replace me?" Bambam asks, narrowing his eyes at Yugyeom.

"No! I just-- he's different." Yugyeom says, biting his bottom lip. Jinyoung is nothing like Bambam.

"Different? How so?" Bambam asks, voice shifting into something inquisitive.

"It's just different."

"Do you like him?"

"What? No." Yugyeom answers, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Why would you even ask?"

"He's hot." Bambam says nonchalantly.

"I hadn't noticed." Yugyeom lies.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well. I just thought I'd ask." Bambam says, easily placated by Yugyeom's lie.

The dangerous truth is that Yugyeom could see himself liking Jinyoung, if he were given the chance. There's no way that Jinyoung would ever like him back, but Jinyoung is attractive, and Yugyeom looks forward to talking to him. Not that Bambam could ever know that. Ever.

"Yeah. Sorry to burst your bubble." He says easily, eager to get away from that particular conversation. "I don't know why everyone is so obsessed with my love life."

"Your non-existent love life." Bambam corrects. "That's why we are. We're just worried about you."

"You have nothing to worry about."

"But still. It's freaky. You never even talk about liking anyone." Bambam replies and Yugyeom feels his anger grow.

"Because I don't. Like anyone, that is." He answers tersely.

"Which is freakish and weird." Bambam says nonchalantly, and Yugyeom feels himself lose it.

"Can you just leave me alone?" Yugyeom snaps. It's not his fault that he can't talk openly about dating. There's nothing freakish and weird about being gay. Bambam shouldn't be so careless with his words.

"Whoa, chill. I'm just worried-"

"No, you're not even worried. You're putting your nose where it doesn't belong." Yugyeom insists, standing up quickly. He can practically feel the blood rushing to his head in anger. He doesn't understand why everyone needs to keep bringing dating up.

"Yugyeom, what's-"

"I'm leaving now." He replies coldly. "I'll see you later."

He decidedly does not storm out of Bambam's apartment, but it's a close thing. His thoughts are muddled, and all he feels is angry. He's allowed to not be interested in anyone. God forbid he be single.

Without even really thinking he pulls his phone out again and dials Jinyoung's number.

"Hello?" Jinyoung asks, picking up right away.

"Hey? Are you doing anything right now?" He asks, feeling his anger subside with each word.

"No. Why?"

"I just have a free moment and thought we could hang out."

"Sure. Just tell me the place." Jinyoung says, and Yugyeom knows he made the right decision.


	4. send me a postcard from the rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Kaleidoscope" by Ringo Deathstarr.

Even though Yugyeom's fight with Bambam is resolved quickly, the way it always happens, he isn't surprised when Jaebum comes to talk to him.

\--

He'd spent an afternoon with Jinyoung trying not to talk about the whole relationship thing, and then he'd ended up telling Jinyoung about everything.

"They're your friends." Jinyoung had said with pursed lips. "They should know better than to keep bringing it up."

"But I should've said something." Yugyeom had replied.

Spending time with Jinyoung had made him feel better about being single, because as Jinyoung reminded him, they're both single.

"Complain all you want to me about being single." Jinyoung said. "Really."

And then Yugyeom wound up showing up at Bambam's apartment later that evening and apologizing. It's just how they operate — they fight and then they make up. Jinyoung had scolded him when he told him about how he snapped, as if Yugyeom wouldn't apologize to him immediately anyways.

\--

But still-

"You snapped at Bam." Jaebum says in his leader voice. He'd shown up outside Yugyeom's door, and even though he doesn't have Yugyeom's door code, Yugyeom is basically obligated to let him in.

"I know." Yugyeom replies with a heavy sigh. "I already apologized."

"He told me. But still. You never snap at Bam." Jaebum responds, and Yugyeom knows that Jaebum isn't going to drop it. "Is something up with you?"

"No." Yugyeom denies. "I was just having a bad day. And people keep bringing up that I'm single, and I'm just a little tired of that." Jaebum makes a knowing noise.

"I'm sorry Gyeom-ah. I didn't realize. We even spoke about that."

"It's fine. It's just come up a lot. And I know everyone wants the best for me, but it's hard."

"I'm sorry." Jaebum says earnestly. "I should've picked up on the fact that you're uncomfortable." Yugyeom shrugs.

"Well. Now you know."

"Have you... Were you seeing someone and we didn't know?" Jaebum asks quietly and Yugyeom raises an eyebrow at him.

"Uh, no. Like not even close." He answers with a snort. "I'm painfully single. Like, more single than you could possibly imagine."

"Oh." Jaebum replies sheepishly. "I just wondered because you reacted so strongly. So I wondered if something was going on behind the scenes."

"It wasn't. And I'd let you know." Yugyeom says. "You're my hyung."

"I know." Jaebum replies, expression oddly serious. "I care about you. I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too." Yugyeom says back, and Jaebum reaches up to stroke his hair. Jaebum's hand feels warm and steady, even as he messes up Yugyeom's hair.

"And don't snap at Bambam. He loves you."

"I know. I knew as soon as I did it that I shouldn't have done it. But..."

"You did it anyways. I've done the same things. Sometimes your feelings get in the way. But you need to fight them." Jaebum says, and it seems like he's thinking about something as he does. Yugyeom doesn't ask. It isn't his place.

"I know. I'll try harder."

"That's all you can do." Jaebum replies with a smile. "I know you made up with Bam. I just wanted to talk to you separately."

"Oh. Okay." Yugyeom replies, swallowing thickly. "Well. We're all fine now."

"Good. And you know that if you ever need anything I'm here for you. Anything. Girls, relationships." Jaebum says. "Whatever." He coughs awkwardly at the end of his sentence, but Yugyeom just smiles reassuringly at him. He knows that that isn't true, that he can't tell Jaebum that he's gay, but Jaebum doesn't need to know that.

\--

Yugyeom can't believe that Jaebum thought he was seeing someone. He hasn't ever shown any signs of anything close to a relationship. It's the strangest thing. And of everyone in GOT6, it would most likely be Jackson or Youngjae that would talk to him about relationship help, not Jaebum.

As far as Yugyeom knows, Jaebum has only been in a few relationships, none of which had lasted particularly long. And he never spoke about them. He's much better at writing about relationships than being in them.

Yugyeom is no better though. He hasn't done anything past some kissing and heavy petting. And he doesn't even write songs about relationships. He wants to ask Jaebum what prompted him to think that Yugyeom was dating someone, but then he also wants this whole thing to blow over and never speak of it again.

When Bambam started dated he told everyone about everything. When Youngjae started dating he got all quiet and blushing. When Jackson dates here and there he just disappears sometimes and then will tell everyone about the date afterwards. Yugyeom didn't fit into any of those behaviours, so he just isn't sure. Jaebum hasn't seen him in a relationship, and for good reason.

Yugyeom is just confused.

\--

The cafe he meets up with Jinyoung the next day at is chic and modern. In other words, Jinyoung looks like he fits right in. Yugyeom feels off-kilter, like he doesn't belong.

"You made up with Bambam then?" Jinyoung asks. Yugyeom nods. "Good. He seems nice."

"He's mostly insane, but thank you for lying." Yugyeom quips, and Jinyoung laughs. He can see the two women sitting at the table beside them stare over at Jinyoung. It's kind of unusual for him not to be the one people stare at. It's refreshing.

He fills Jinyoung in on what happened with both Bambam and Jaebum. Jinyoung seems to be the voice of reason in the craziness that is Yugyeom's life.

"This Jaebum guy seems nosy." Jinyoung says after Yugyeom is finished talking.

"He kind of has to be. He's the leader."

"But it's like a business thing. You don't need to tell him personal stuff." Jinyoung says, and Yugyeom feels frustrated. Clearly Jinyoung doesn't understand that GOT6 extends beyond a perfunctory business partnership.

"Maybe it was in the beginning." Yugyeom says. "But we're all very close now. I could tell any of them anything."

"Anything?" Jinyoung asks, and just then, a woman walks past on her way out the door and completely unsubtly eyes Yugyeom up and down. "I think she's checking you out." Jinyoung observes. "She's pretty hot. It's not too late to go get her number."

"Oh. I mean, yeah she's okay." Yugyeom says, trying not to choke. "She's not really my type though."

"So what's even your type?" Jinyoung asks.

"I don't really have one." Yugyeom says, which is a partial-truth. He hasn't had one in the past. It's always been whoever was somewhat attractive and somewhat likely to hit on him. Now his type happens to look a lot like Jinyoung. Just a coincidence. Or maybe not.

Yugyeom isn't stupid. He knows the signs. He knows that underneath his teasing and joking lies the beginnings of a crush. Logically, he knows that it's fruitless, that there's nothing that could ever happen between him and Jinyoung. But yet he recognizes the signs. The flicker of excitement in his stomach when he sees Jinyoung that threatens to turn into something larger. He tries to tamp it down.

"What about you?" Yugyeom asks, swallowing thickly. "What's your type? I can't see you liking the cute type."

"No. I like chic people. Or cool. That type."

"Oh. Okay." Yugyeom says, feeling his hope fizzle out. He's always been the cute type. Never the cool or chic type. That's always been Jaebum or Jeongguk.

"So you don't like the chic type then?"

"Not really." Yugyeom answers. He doesn't even really know how to classify Jinyoung as a type. He appears to be chic, but yet there's something dorky lying underneath it all, and Yugyeom doesn't quite know how to describe that.

"Weird. I'd think you'd totally go for that." Jinyoung says thoughtfully. Yugyeom doesn't know why he's thinking so hard about it.

"I guess not." Yugyeom says with an awkward laugh.

"Hey, so there's a Japanese food festival next weekend." Jinyoung says, pointing to a flyer advertising it on the tidy bulletin board of the cafe.

"I heard it's fun." Yugyeom says. Bambam and Youngjae went the year before.

"Are you free during then?" Jinyoung asks. "We should go!"

"Oh. I'm actually going away that week." Yugyeom responds.

"Oh." Jinyoung says, and if Yugyeom isn't mistaken he sounds disappointed. "Where are you going?"

"Guam!" Yugyeom says. "With some friends. We booked it a while ago."

"Oh, fun." Jinyoung says, but the way he's saying doesn't make it sound fun at all.

"I'll be away for a week. Not too long."

"Oh. Okay. And then you have work after that?"

"Kind of. We have to start thinking about our comeback eventually, but it isn't like instant."

"Nice, nice." Jinyoung says. "We'll hang out after you get back."

"I'll text you." Yugyeom promises. "And only some of them will be drunk."

"Oh good. I'm looking forward to it." Jinyoung says.

\--

He flies out of Seoul at two in the morning a few days later, and miraculously he doesn't get noticed at the airport. It's amazing, Yugyeom thinks. He wants to text Jinyoung about it, but then he realizes that Jinyoung would probably just laugh at him.

\--

He lands in Guam to a hot and humid day. It's glorious.

He'd packed enough t-shirts, swimsuits, and caps to last him a week. That's all he's planning on wearing. No makeup. No tight jeans. Nothing. He's going to do nothing but swim and hang out with his friends.

Guam is gorgeous. There are beaches everywhere, and what feels like endless amounts of sky and sea.

And, best of all, Yugyeom can walk around without really being recognized.

He can see a few girls taking photos of him here and there, but between his relaxed clothes and lack of makeup, he's almost unmistakeable for Yugyeom from GOT6.

Bambam is taking care of his plants while he's away, and he insists on sending Yugyeom photos twice a day of the plants. He isn't the only one from home that texts him: Jinyoung texts him a photo of the Japanese food festival, and a photo of a dog that he claims looks like Yugyeom. They're strange photos, but within the context of Jinyoung's strangeness, they make sense.

\--

He posts a photo on Instagram of him with his friends and gets a text from Jinyoung with a screenshot of an IG photo, says he looks like he's having fun. Yugyeom texts him back immediately, perhaps in a slightly less than sober state.

**yu_gyeom**  
**call meeeeee**

He's surprised though, to see his phone light up with a phone call from Jinyoung immediately after sending his text.

"Hello?" He says, surprised that Jinyoung actually called him.

"Hello?" Jinyoung replies, voice tinny over the phone.

His friends are yelling at him to hurry up but he just waves them on. He mouths that he'll catch up with them later.

"Jinyoung! Hey!" He says, trying to pretend that he's sober.

"You're drunk." Jinyoung replies with a laugh.

"How did you know?" Yugyeom asks, feeling himself pout. He really thought he was convincing.

"I can hear you pouting." Jinyoung answers. "Also you never sound this happy when I talk to you in person."

"I do so." Yugyeom replies.

"You do not."

"I always like talking to you though." Yugyeom says.

"Ah, thanks Gyeom." Jinyoung says with a laugh. "You told me to call you?"

"Oh? I did? Oh yeah, I did!" Yugyeom says, remembering that he did in fact text Jinyoung telling him to call him. "I wanted to talk."

"About anything in particular?"

"Not really." Yugyeom says. "I'm having fun in Guam."

"You'll have to tell me all about it when you get back hmm?" Jinyoung says.

"I will." Yugyeom promises. "What've you been up to?"

"Me? Oh, not much. Working. Going on dating apps. Boring."

"Missing me." Yugyeom says, because his lips are loose with tequila.

"Nope. Never." Jinyoung answers, but Yugyeom can tell that he's lying, even just a little.

"Ok. Well, as long as you're okay with lying to yourself." Yugyeom says. "Oh. I should probably go, my friends are yelling at me."

"Yes, you should." Jinyoung replies with a laugh. "Go on, I'll be around."

"Bye Jinyoung." Yugyeom says, and Jinyoung laughs one more time before he hangs up.

—

"Who was that back there?" His friends ask when he catches up with them, Jeongguk coming up to slap his ass.

"A friend." Yugyeom replies, slapping Jeongguk's ass back.

"What kind of a friend? A friend that you have to take a call from away from us?" Mingyu says, waggling his eyebrows.

"A special friend?" Seokmin echoes with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"No." Yugyeom answers with a laugh. "Not at all."

"Oh." Jeongguk replies, looking disappointed. "Really?"

"Really, really."

"We need to find you someone!" Mingyu crows. "Between the four of us, there has to be someone we know that you can try dating Gyeom!"

"I'm really okay." Yugyeom says in response, trying to tamp down on his feelings of frustration. He thinks of his conversation with Jaebum, and tries to stay calm.

"You're an idol, you have girls throwing themselves at you every day." Mingyu says, and then Jeongguk frowns.

"He's allowed to be single if he wants." Jeongguk says. "Come on, let's go get more drinks!" And the conversation is forgotten.

But Yugyeom feels oddly warm and floaty after his phone conversation with Jinyoung. Initially he'd thought that it was just the tequila, but it's just the effect of Jinyoung.

—

That night, Yugyeom gets back to his hotel room in a state far more gone than tipsy. He and his friends had tequila, and then more tequila, and then wine, and then he didn't even remember going home...

He chugs some water and stumbles into the shower to at least be clean when he wakes up with a horrific hangover.

Yugyeom gets out of the shower and admires himself. He looks good in the dim hotel bathroom lighting, he thinks in his drunken state. His abs are a little visible still, and it's so humid that he isn't totally dry.

So without even thinking, he takes a photo on Snapchat of himself, just in a towel, hand holding the towel in place.

It's certainly more risque than previous shirtless photos, Yugyeom has to admit. The fact that he's fresh out of the shower adds to that effect, he thinks. And the hand positioned somewhat over his dick.

There's a quiet voice in the back of his mind telling him not to do it, but yet he still sends the Snapchat anyways before he gets dressed and ready for bed.

\--

Unlike what he suspected however, Yugyeom wakes up the next morning feeling completely fine. And he happens to remember exactly what happened the night before. Both his tipsy conversation with Jinyoung and his Snapchat. Yugyeom looks over at phone nervously. He's just praying that Jinyoung skipped past it.

He opens Snapchat, and to his horror, Jinyoung has opened it, and even worse, he's responded.

**pepi_jy_**  
**Wow remind me to take you with me on vacation**  
**You're a wild child**

Yugyeom breathes an honest sigh of relief. Jinyoung could've replied with much worse. Yugyeom elects not to respond.

There's another Snapchat notification too though, from Jaebum. Yugyeom opens their chat. He isn't sure what Jaebum is messaging him for.

**def_seoul**  
**without me?**  
**;)**  
**im joking, get some sleep**

Yugyeom looks back. He'd sent the same Snapchat to Jaebum if the timestamp is any indicator. He wants to bang his head against the table. In his drunk state, he'd snapped Jaebum and Jinyoung, and he doesn't know which is worse.

He doesn't know what to do. Does he tell Jaebum that he sent him it by accident? Does he change the subject? So Yugyeom just doesn't respond. He figures it's the safest bet.

Yugyeom looks at the messages again. It's the strangest thing -- Jaebum's messages seem almost flirty, almost like he's propositioning Yugyeom. But he can't be. It's just Jaebum joking around in that strange way of his.

\--

The last two days of his trip pass by quickly, until suddenly he finds himself on an airplane going home, with a sleeping Mingyu on one shoulder, and a hangover.

\--

When he gets out of arrivals at ICN, he's surprised to see not only Bambam but also Jaebum waiting for him. He'd expected Bambam, he'd asked Bambam to come pick him up, but he wasn't expecting Jaebum.

"Oh hyung! I didn't know you were coming." Yugyeom says.

"I had nothing better to do." Jaebum says, shrugging nonchalantly. Yugyeom reaches out and pulls him in for a tight hug. He doesn't even bother apologize for smelling like airplane -- they're all used to it by this point with all their travelling.

"Have you been well?"

"Yeah! I've been working of course, but it's been good."

"You don't need to make music all the time hyung." Bambam says, rolling his eyes slightly.

"I know. But I want to." Jaebum says. "Come on, I came to see Yugyeom, not to be harassed."

"They're usually the same thing." Bambam says, elbowing Yugyeom in the side, and they set off for Jaebum's car.

\--

**yu_gyeom**  
**im backkkk**

**pepi_jy_**  
**:/ i didn't ask**

**yu_gyeom**  
**too bad! ur stuck with me!**

\--

"You have a tan." Jinyoung says as soon as he sees Yugyeom. They'd agreed to meet at

"I know. I'm ten times more handsome now." Yugyeom says smugly.

"You wish." Jinyoung replies, ignoring Yugyeom's smugness.

"I don't need to wish when it's my reality."

"Okay, okay." Jinyoung says. "Calm down." Yugyeom sticks his tongue at Jinyoung. "So how was it? I need to live through you."

"I don't think I've ever eaten so much seafood in my life." Yugyeom says, patting his stomach.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Jinyoung says with a laugh. "I'm glad you had a good time."

"Thanks. It was nice to get away."

"And see your friends?"

"Yeah." Yugyeom admits. He hopes it isn't strange to say that to Jinyoung, who he counts as a good friend too. "Who knows, maybe next year we'll be going on vacation together."

"Yeah right." Jinyoung replies, rolling his eyes. "Only if you pay."

"I hate you." Yugyeom says with a laugh, glad that Jinyoung didn't respond too strangely.

"But what was that Snapchat you sent me? Did you accidentally send that to me when you were trying to send it to someone special?" Jinyoung asks, raising an eyebrow. Yugyeom freezes slightly.

"Oh. Uh, yeah." He lies, glad that Jinyoung gave him an out without intending to. "These things happen."

"I thought you were single though." Jinyoung asks.

"Uh. Yes." Yugyeom says. "It was uh-" He's fortunately cut off by his phone ringing. It's his manager who needs him for something.

"So you have to go?" Jinyoung asks, and if Yugyeom isn't mistaken, he's pouting slightly.

"We'll see each other soon though to make up for this. Sorry!" Yugyeom says, all but bolting out the door to the waiting van.

\--

Yugyeom has never been more grateful for a last minute meeting at the company.

\--

The next week, a clip of Yugyeom with a fan ends up going slightly viral. It's just him smiling and winking at a fan but everyone online seems to think that he's some kind of Casanova. The company is happy for the publicity, and Bambam and Youngjae seem to treat it as another thing to rib Yugyeom about mercilessly.

Oddly though, Jaebum seems weird about it.

"That's too much fanservice." Jaebum says grumpily when Yugyeom finally asks, and Yugyeom cocks his head to the side in confusion.

"We've always done this sort of thing though." He says.

"So?"

"So, it shouldn't matter?"

"It's too much. You're too handsome to do that." Jaebum insists, and walks out of the room, leaving Yugyeom behind to feel even more confused. He doesn't know what difference it makes to Jaebum how he acts to fans. Shouldn't he be happy that Yugyeom is drawing more attention to GOT6? And what does he mean too handsome? Yugyeom really isn't sure.

\--

**pepi_jy_**  
**why is a dumb video of u looking like an idiot in front of a fan all over the internet**

**yu_gyeom**  
**wish i could tell you**  
**jaebum is being weird about it**  
**do i look weird?**

**pepi_jy_**  
**no? i mean you legit never look like that irl but you're an idol or whatever**

**yu_gyeom**  
**my hyung says its because i look handsome**

**pepi_jy_**  
**ur hyung?**

**yu_gyeom**  
**jaebum hyung**

**pepi_jy_**  
**oh**

**yu_gyeom**  
**yeah**  
**but really? i don't look weird**

**pepi_jy_**  
**yugyeom... everyone online is losing their mind saying how handsome you look**  
**chill**

**yu_gyeom**  
**or u could tell me how handsome i look :D**

**pepi_jy_**  
**or i could barf**

**yu_gyeom**  
**...**  
**what r u up to anyways?**

**pepi_jy_**  
**a shitty networking event for work**

**yu_gyeom**  
**oof**  
**that sucks**

**pepi_jy_**  
**i dont even know anyone here**

**yu_gyeom**

**even worse**

**pepi_jy_**  
**and im stuck here for a while bc my ride bailed on me**  
**it sucks**

**yu_gyeom**  
**if u need a ride i can come pick u up?**

**pepi_jy_**  
**i didn't know you had a car**

**yu_gyeom**  
**uh yeah?**  
**how else would i get around?**

**pepi_jy_**  
**get someone to drive you?**

**yu_gyeom**  
***rolling eyes emoji***  
**just send me the address**  
**the things i do for friendship**

\--

Jinyoung is sitting on the bench at the bus stop when Yugyeom shows up on a street corner in a neighbourhood that he's only ever driven past.

"That's not your fucking car." Jinyoung says when Yugyeom rolls down the window of his Audi A7.

"Too bad it is." He says back.

"You're like a movie star." Jinyoung replies, looking disgusted.

"But more handsome." Yugyeom replies, and adds a wink for drama.

"Honestly, I just can't even believe that you drive yourself places."

"I drive myself sometimes." Yugyeom replies indignantly. "I'm not a prince."

"With this car though, you could be." Jinyoung says, still unable to take his eyes off the car.

"G-Dragon drives a Lamborghini. This is nothing."

"Maybe I should make friends with him."

"Shut up." Yugyeom replies, rolling his eyes. "Are you ready to go or not?"

"And to think, I'm stuck taking the subway." Jinyoung says sadly.

"There are some benefits to my career." Yugyeom says. "Come on, get in." He revs the engine for good measure.

"Show off." Jinyoung says, but he climbs in anyways.

"So, where to?" Yugyeom asks. "I'm your cab driver here."

"The subway station is fine." Jinyoung says.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"I could drive you to your house." Yugyeom offers.

"I want to go see someone." Jinyoung says. "Before I go home."

"Your ex?"

"No." Jinyoung says, but he's looking away.

"Oh my god." Yugyeom says. "Is this a booty call? Am I driving you to a booty call?"

"No!" Jinyoung says. "It's not- not my ex. I was on a dating app and I hit it off with this girl and she invited me for a drink."

"Ah." Yugyeom says knowingly, trying to hide the fact that he's wilting slightly on the inside. So Jinyoung is going to hook up with someone. He isn't sure if he should find solace in the fact that it isn't with his ex.

"Don't ah me." Jinyoung says. "Here, I'll turn the volume on the GPS on my phone and it'll tell you how to get there."

\--

The day after Yugyeom drops Jinyoung off, Jinyoung calls Yugyeom. Curious, Yugyeom picks up.

"Hello?"

"Are you free right now?" Jinyoung asks.

"Yeah, I'm free." Yugyeom answers immediately.

"Cool. Meet me in twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Yugyeom replies.

He realizes that he's been the one to ask Jinyoung to hang out for the last few times, and it feels good to have Jinyoung reciprocate. To know that Jinyoung wants to hang out with him just as much.

"Where do you want to meet?"

"There's that cafe we went to a few weeks ago?" Jinyoung asks, sounding a little out of breath. "Does that work for you?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then." Yugyeom agrees, unsure why Jinyoung is wanting to hang out so last minute.

—

Yugyeom gets there first, and gets a coffee while he waits. It's strange, the cafe seems to full of couples. Yugyeom feels more than a little out of place. All around him are couples holding hands, taking photos of each other, doing cute things with each other. It's gross, he thinks. It seems that the world's fixation on relationships lives on.

\--

Jinyoung shows up five minutes after Yugyeom gets there.

"Hey! Sorry, I barely missed the train and had to wait for the next one." He says, looking a little flustered. Yugyeom has never seen him look this flustered. Jinyoung is always so calm and collected.

"Anything you want to do today?" Yugyeom says.

"We could go back to mine." Jinyoung offers up, and Yugyeom tries his hardest not to blush at the implications.

"Your place?" Yugyeom asks.

"It's only fair since I've been to yours already." Jinyoung says, and Yugyeom can't argue with that. Plus, he's curious to see where Jinyoung lives.

They just take a cab to Jinyoung's apartment, because Yugyeom didn't drive.

"And I don't have a parking stall." Jinyoung grumbles, when Yugyeom mentions that.

"Or a car." Yugyeom offers up, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes.

"Alright Mr. Audi. We can't all be like you." He says.

"But you wish you could be." Yugyeom has to say, because he's petty like that.

"Shut up."

\--

It turns out that Jinyoung actually lives in a relatively nondescript building in a decent enough part of town. Just an ordinary apartment. But Jinyoung's apartment isn't what he pictured. For starters, there are things everywhere. Despite his tidy exterior, there doesn't seem to be much tidy about his home.

"Sorry about the mess." Jinyoung says, but he doesn't really seem that apologetic.

"It's fine. Mark's is worse."

"Mark?"

"He's in GOT6." Yugyeom clarifies. "He's older than me."

"Oh. Okay." Jinyoung replies. "Wow, I feel like I should study this stuff or something."

"You're good." Yugyeom says, feeling a little uncomfortable. He's honestly unused to people not knowing anything about GOT6.

He spots a book sitting on Jinyoung's coffee table that Yugyeom had just finished reading.

"Oh, I read this book! It was good." He says, pointing to the book. Jinyoung grins at him.

"You like reading?"

"Yeah. I'm just getting into it."

"Wow. You're like a real person." Jinyoung says.

"I am just like a person." Yugyeom teases, watching Jinyoung flush slightly.

"I know." Jinyoung says. "I think maybe I haven't given you enough credit for that."

"It's fine." Yugyeom says with a shrug, but he feels his face heating up anyways.

"Do you have any other book recommendations?" Jinyoung asks. "I don't have a ton of time to read, but I try."

"Has work been busy for you lately?"

"A bit." Jinyoung answers with a shrug. "My boss has been on my ass about a project."

"Oh. That sucks." Yugyeom says. "I know how that feels."

"It's probably good that you were away when I was busy so I wasn't distracted."

"Ooh, because I'm so distracting." Yugyeom says sarcastically, aiming to tease Jinyoung.

"More than you'd think." Jinyoung replies, ears turning a little red. Yugyeom giggles.

"Oh. Of course. I bet you say that to all your friends."

"Mmm. Only you." Jinyoung mutters. Yugyeom sticks his tongue out at Jinyoung, who snorts out a laugh.

"Is there anything you wanted to do?" Yugyeom asks. "Because honestly I'm one hundred percent fine with doing nothing."

"God. Me too." Jinyoung says, sounding relieved. "Do you want a beer?"

"Yes. Should I order some food too?"

"You had me at food." Jinyoung replies with a twinkle in his eye. "Let's do fucking nothing today."

"You're my favourite person." Yugyeom says to that, and he isn't even lying. He's come to appreciate Jinyoung's friendship more than he'd thought he would. And he has a suspicion that Jinyoung feels the same way. It feels good.

"And rightfully so." Jinyoung says. "You get the food and I'll pay for my half. And I'll even let you drink my alcohol."

"Deal." Yugyeom replies, and they grin at each other.

"Oh, by the way -- my date went horribly the other day." Jinyoung says nonchalantly. "If you were wondering."


	5. i'll crash into you once i want to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, here's some hurt/comfort cuteness to get you through your day! 
> 
> Chapter title from the song "Crasher" by Astrobrite.

"I didn't ask about your date." Yugyeom says, but his heart is fluttering a little bit. He's a terrible friend to be this happy that Jinyoung's date went poorly. "But then again, your personality is terrible, so I guess that makes sense."

"You brat." Jinyoung mutters, swatting Yugyeom in the arm. Yugyeom feels a giggle bubble up. "Did you just giggle?"

"What about it?" Yugyeom asks.

"Don't play cute." Jinyoung grumbles. "Come on, are we going to watch a movie or what?"

"I don't have to play cute." Yugyeom says. "I am cute."

"Did I ask?" Jinyoung asks, raising his arm as if threatening to punch Yugyeom's arm.

"Aren't we watching a movie?" Yugyeom parrots in his best faux-innocent voice.

\--

And thus it becomes a bit of a routine for Jinyoung and Yugyeom to hang out and do nothing. Yugyeom's schedule is pretty lax because of their break, and Jinyoung never has to work on evenings or weekends, which gives them plenty of time to do nothing.

They don't really do nothing -- they watch movies or TV, eat junk food, talk shit about each other, and sleep. It's possibly the best friendship Yugyeom has had in ages.

There's something comfortably domestic about their time together. It's not like his time with Bambam, or the other members of GOT6, nor is it like being with his rambunctious other friends. There's something calming about Jinyoung's presence. Maybe it's because he's older, or because he doesn't really give a shit about Yugyeom's idol life, but there's just something _normalizing_ about their time together.

And Yugyeom isn't the only one enjoying it. Jinyoung is always just as eager to hang out as Yugyeom is. So if Yugyeom starts spending less time with his other friends, even just slightly, he doesn't mind. He spends enough time with GOT6 as it is, and his other friends have other things going on. But Jinyoung always seems to be free when Yugyeom suggests hanging out, even just to order take-out -- a remarkably uneventful time.

\--

"Let's go for dinner." Jaebum says confidently to Yugyeom over the phone. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"What if I'm busy?" Yugyeom asks. He isn't, but Jaebum doesn't know that.

"I know you aren't because I asked your manager."

"Okay. So I'm not busy." Yugyeom concedes.

"Stop giving me a hard time, I'm your hyung." Jaebum says, smacking Yugyeom's back lightly.

"Okay, okay." Yugyeom teases, smacking Jaebum in return.

\--

"Can you drive?" Jaebum asks when he shows up outside Yugyeom's apartment twenty minutes later, dressed in a surprisingly formal outfit.

"Oh. So you're taking me out to dinner, but you're making me drive? What's next? Making me pay?" Yugyeom asks, and Jaebum shakes his head furiously.

"No! I wouldn't. I really wouldn't." Jaebum says.

Jaebum directs him to a small upscale noodle place far away from work.

"This is a long drive." Yugyeom grumbles. "If you wanted noodles, I have ramen at home."

"I just wanted somewhere quiet." Jaebum says.

"That's never stopped you before." Yugyeom replies.

"It does now." Jaebum says, and Yugyeom doesn't even know what that means. His hyung is probably just being picky for fun. Sometimes he and Mark like to do that. He follows the directions quietly.

\--

"This is nice." Yugyeom says, eyeing the interior design once they're inside. The restaurant is all dark wood and cozy warm lighting. They're seated at a table for two tucked out of the way, so that even if the few other patrons wanted to, they couldn't really see the two of them.

"So tell me about your trip." Jaebum says after they've ordered some wine and appetizers. "I feel like I've hardly seen you lately."

"I've been around." Yugyeom answers with a shrug.

"Bam told me you have a new friend?" Jaebum presses and Yugyeom sighs.

"Yeah. It's a bit of a weird story how we met, but he's nice."

"How nice?" Jaebum asks, which confuses Yugyeom. He doesn't know what difference it makes to Jaebum how nice Jinyoung is.

"Nice." He answers.

"Good. He better be." Jaebum says, eyes narrowed.

"Okay hyung." Yugyeom says awkwardly. "I probably wouldn't be friends with someone if they weren't nice to me."

"But you're spending all your time with him?"

"I'm not." Yugyeom says. "We're friends. That's what friends do -- spend time together."

"Okay." Jaebum replies, and it seems as if he wants to say more, but is choosing not to.

"So what's with the outfit?" Yugyeom finally asks. "Were you busy today or something?"

"No." Jaebum answers. "I just felt like dressing up for dinner." Yugyeom makes a strange face.

"It's just me. You could've shown up in sweatpants and that stupid t-shirt of yours and it wouldn't have made a difference to me." He says and Jaebum frowns for a split second before his face smoothes out again.

"Well. I did anyways."

"Hmm."

"I clean up just fine." Jaebum says with a sniff, feigning offense. Yugyeom rolls his eyes.

"You know you do. Relax."

"Ah, there it is. There's the compliment I was waiting for." Jaebum says smugly.

\--

"I'll pay." Jaebum says when the bill comes out.

"No, we can split it hyung." Yugyeom replies quickly. "I don't mind."

"I said I'll pay." Jaebum says, eyes flashing with something that Yugyeom can't recognize.

"Okay." He says meekly. "But I owe you."

"You can get it next time." Jaebum says smoothly, neatly putting his credit card down on the bill for the waiter.

"Next time?" Yugyeom asks, raising an eyebrow. Jaebum flounders for a moment, just enough to be detectable.

"Yeah. Um, you know. The next time we find ourselves at dinner together."

"Oh right. Okay. Well. McDonalds it is." Yugyeom says cheekily, but Jaebum just smiles at him. He doesn't understand why, but Jaebum's smile makes him flush a little.

\--

Yugyeom is just about to fall asleep that night when his phone buzzes. It's Jinyoung, and even though Yugyeom should ignore it, and go to sleep, he can't help himself.

**pepi_jy_**   
**hey**

**yu_gyeom**   
**hey!**

**pepi_jy_**   
**don't try to beat me at more enthusiastic texting**

**yu_gyeom**   
**lolololol**   
**whats up? u dont usually text so late**

**pepi_jy_**   
**just had a shitty day at work. god, i hate the company i work for**

**yu_gyeom**   
**what happened????**

**pepi_jy_**   
**it's a long story...**   
**can i call you?**

**yu_gyeom**   
**fine**

His phone lights up instantly with an incoming call. He picks up.

"Jinyoung?"

"Hey. Yeah, it's me." Jinyoung says, and maybe Yugyeom is a little tired, but he swears that Jinyoung sounds relieved to hear him.

"What's up?" Yugyeom asks. "Why was your day so bad?"

So he just lets Jinyoung ramble on about his bad boss, about the management, about his long hours. About how he doesn't even do anything he went to school for. How his commute kills him. Yugyeom tells him it's okay, that no one's job is perfect, that he can do it. He's just going through a bad patch right now.

Eventually though, Yugyeom has to hang up to go get a glass of water. He can't lie, it felt good to console Jinyoung like that. To feel like someone could depend on him. He's always been a good listener, but he's always been the youngest in GOT6 -- no one depends on him.

There's a text from Jinyoung waiting when he gets back.

**pepi_jy_**   
**can you talk more?**

**yu_gyeom**   
**i really need to get to bed**

**pepi_jy_**   
**fine, leave me**

**yu_gyeom**   
**don't u have work tomorrow**   
**even if u hate it, u probably don't want to get fired**

**pepi_jy_**   
**ugh**   
**don't remind me**

**yu_gyeom**   
**i have to get up sooo early tomorrow :(**

**pepi_jy_**   
**how early**

**yu_gyeom**   
**4:30**

**pepi_jy_**   
**gyeom...**   
**its 2 am**   
**why did you let me take up your sleep like that?**

**yu_gyeom**   
**u had a shitty day!**   
**i wanted to let u rant**   
**thats what im here for**

**pepi_jy_**   
**but even so!**   
**ugh**   
**ugh**

\--

  
The next week is oddly exhausting for Yugyeom. It gets like this sometimes. He just has trouble sleeping, and he has lots to do.

\--

His managers put another iced coffee in his hand, and without even thinking, he just drinks it. It probably isn't the best idea, he knows this.

The meeting begins. Yugyeom loves this part. He always loves meeting fans, seeing their faces. But he feels a little odd. Perhaps he shouldn't have had that extra coffee, he thinks. But the fan in front of him is smiling and giggling, and he forces himself

A strange feeling comes over him, as if all his limbs weigh too much. His heart starts pounding. His legs don't feel steady underneath him.

The last thing he remembers is seeing the bright stage lights, the cries of the crowd and then his world goes black.

\--

He wakes up in the hospital, blinking up at the lights.

The doctors tell him that it's exhaustion, dehydration, and malnourishment. The standard for idols basically. It's expected almost, for idols to have to be hospitalized here and there for the symptoms of their schedule. Yugyeom feels silly though, because he isn't even in the throes of a comeback schedule.

He sees his managers talking anxiously on the phone outside, probably reporting to the company so PR can make a statement. Yugyeom curls up on his bed, cursing his long limbs for fitting weirdly in the hospital bed. He doesn't feel any better for fainting. If anything, he feels a little weaker, like he can't quite rely on his body.

\--

He opens his phone to find a bunch of worried messages from the members, and a bunch of news alerts. He quickly texts everyone back that he's okay, and starts on the news.

It's all over the internet, that Yugyeom from GOT6 collapsed at a fanmeeting and had to be rushed to the hospital. Someone even managed to take video of him fainting and now it's circulated all over the web. Yugyeom watches the video — at least it wasn't very dramatic, he just kind of slumped in his chair.

Yugyeom wishes it never happened. The last thing he wants is to worry his fans. He scans through the comments under one of the top posts and it's all nervous messages from fans, wishing that he gets better soon.

Suddenly, there's a face at the door.

"Yugyeom." The face says, and Yugyeom realizes somewhat absently that it looks a lot like Jinyoung. He blinks, wondering if he's hallucinating. But he looks again, and it really is Jinyoung at the door.

"You can't come in." The manager noona says, crossing her arms to look her most intimidating.

"I know him." Jinyoung says exasperatedly. "I'm his friend."

"Yeah right." The manager hyung replies. "If only we could let in everyone he knows."

"No, it's okay. He really is a friend." Yugyeom calls out from the bed. "I promise." The managers shoot him a dirty look.

"You should be resting."

"I can rest while he's here." Yugyeom says.

"Should I go?" Jinyoung asks.

"No!" Yugyeom protests immediately. "You can stay."

"No photos." Manager hyung all but growls to Jinyoung, who looks alarmed.

"I won't take any!" Jinyoung insists, putting his hands up in defeat.

"He really won't." Yugyeom adds."Can we have some privacy?"

He sees the way the managers look at each other, clearly unsure what to do.

"I promise it'll be fine." Yugyeom says with a bright smile. "Please?"

"Do we need to ask for his phone?"

"No. I promise I won't take any pictures." Jinyoung says, looking oddly innocent. Yugyeom thinks it's an unusual look on Jinyoung. The managers nod finally, and move into the hallway, albeit slowly, shutting the door behind them.

"Hey." Jinyoung says uncomfortably. He's still hovering just inside the doorway, like he's afraid to come in.

"You can come inside if you want."

"Oh. Right." Jinyoung says and shuffles inside. Yugyeom shifts so he's sitting up, being mindful of his IV.

Jinyoung comes over and sits on the chair beside the bed.

"What are you doing here?" Yugyeom asks finally.

"I, uh, saw you were sick." Jinyoung answers, staring at his hands.

"I'm fine." Yugyeom says quickly. "Look at me."

"You don't really look fine."

"I am. I'm just a little tired."

"You're not fine! You're too skinny! Yugyeom, you're in the hospital! You're clearly not fine!" Jinyoung bursts out, looking angry. Yugyeom can only blink at him. He doesn't know why Jinyoung is so frustrated. He isn't the one in the hospital.

"I'm okay. I'll just get hydrated, and be good to go." He says, and shakes his IV-arm towards Jinyoung. It's true.

"Have you eaten? I heard the doctors saying you have low blood sugar." Jinyoung says.

"Uh, no?"

"Yugyeom!" Jinyoung says exasperatedly.

"What? I'm supposed to be on a diet."

"You fainted. I think an exception can be made." Jinyoung says, and sweeps out of the room dramatically. Yugyeom watches him go curiously. He didn't think that him not eating would make Jinyoung mad enough to leave like that.

But then Jinyoung comes back a few minutes later with an assortment of vending machine foods, and sets them all on Yugyeom's bed. Yugyeom can see his managers eyeing the two of them strangely, like they're trying to figure out exactly who Jinyoung is.

"What's this?" He asks.

"I'm going to watch you take a bite of all of these. Just a bite." Jinyoung says firmly.

"Jinyoung-"

"Eat them Yugyeom-ah." Jinyoung says and starts unwrapping the snacks.

So Yugyeom takes a bite of each food that Jinyoung holds up to his mouth. He really shouldn't eat this much, but here he is anyways. He even lets Jinyoung practically feed him, like he's a baby or something.

"This is going to make me gain weight." Yugyeom says carefully. He always has to be mindful of his diet.

"You were too skinny to begin with." Jinyoung grumbles. "Way too skinny."

"I'm fine." Yugyeom responds.

"What's your waist size? Like a twenty seven?" Jinyoung snipes at him, and Yugyeom falls silent. He is skinny, but that's just part of his job. He has to look a certain way, and that means that he has to be slim. "That's what I thought."

"I'm fine." Yugyeom repeats, but he can tell that he's losing this particular argument.

"Finish your food." Jinyoung insists.

So Yugyeom does.

"Was that so bad?" Jinyoung asks when Yugyeom is done.

"No." Yugyeom says quietly, and Jinyoung's face twists weirdly.

Then, before Yugyeom knows it, Jinyoung reaches out and wipes the outer corner of Yugyeom's eye. His thumb feels soft, and careful. Yugyeom

"What?"

"You had a makeup smudge." Jinyoung explains, and proceeds to wipe his thumb on Yugyeom's hoodie.

"Hey!" Yugyeom protests, but it's really only halfhearted.

"What? Can't have you looking ugly." Jinyoung mutters.

"How did you even know what hospital I was at?" Yugyeom asks, keen for a change of subject.

"Oh, uh. I looked up where your fan meeting or whatever was, and then the closest hospital. And then I happened to hear a nurse mention your name. I guess she thinks you're cute or whatever."

"So basically you stalked me."

"No!" Jinyoung says, but the tips of his ears are turning red.

"Ha. You totally did." Yugyeom says smugly.

"Shut up."

"Thank you though. For coming to visit. I appreciate it."

"No problem." Jinyoung mutters. "I just... I saw it online and I worried."

"Thank you. For worrying." He says. Jinyoung wordlessly watches him curl up on the bed. Yugyeom feels tiny under Jinyoung's gaze, like a child.

"Please get some rest Yugyeom-ah." He says quietly, practically a whisper. And then he reaches out and pats Yugyeom's foot, presumably in an attempt to be comforting. It doesn't really work. Mostly because Yugyeom is larger than Jinyoung.

"I will."

"And eat something. Even just a bit more. You won't gain weight."

"You don't know that."

"Please. For me?"

"Fine." Yugyeom concedes.

"I should get back to work. But I'll see you later hmm?"

"Yeah." Yugyeom agrees. "I'll probably have to rest for the next few days at least."

"As you should." Jinyoung replies with narrowed eyes. "If I hear word of anything otherwise, I'll kill you for real."

—

Yugyeom manages to get some rest in before

Jaebum comes in first, with everyone else on his heels. They're all still dressed in their clothes from the fanmeeting, and they all look stressed.

"Yugyeom-ah!" Jaebum says. "God, look at you."

"I'm fine." Yugyeom protests weakly.

"You're definitely not." Jaebum says. Yugyeom twists his mouth. "I'm sorry I- we couldn't come sooner, we had to finish the fansign." Jaebum says heavily.

"Of course. Don't even worry about it." Yugyeom replies quickly. "It isn't a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Yugyeom-ah, you've never fainted before like this! How can you sit there on your hospital bed and tell me that it isn't a big deal?"

"Hyung." Jackson says, coming up behind Jaebum, wrapping a hand around his neck. "It's okay. It happens. Maybe Yugyeom just got overheated. He isn't dying."

"You aren't dying right?" Jaebum asks with panicked eyes.

"No. I'm definitely not." Yugyeom confirms, rolling his eyes. "Calm down."

"If he can roll his eyes, he's definitely alright." Youngjae says with a laugh. Bambam comes and curls up next to Yugyeom on the bed, wrapping his arms around him.

"You're okay right?" Bambam asks softly as the other members talk among themselves about what signifies "alright".

"I am." Yugyeom says. "Just got overwhelmed I guess."

"I'll make you dinner tonight hmm? Are you allowed out of the hospital yet?"

"I'm not sure." Yugyeom says. "They want me to finish my IV at least and then they'll decide." He adds and points to the slow steady drip.

"I'll make you dinner as soon as you can get out hmm?"

"Why aren't I invited?" Mark whines, wrapping his arms around both of them.

"You can be." Yugyeom replies.

"What about me too?" Youngjae pouts, and then suddenly all six of them are on Yugyeom's bed.

"I'm the sick one here!" He protests but someone hits him in the back of the head and forces him to let them hug him.

\--

A few hours later, the doctor begrudgingly lets Yugyeom go home on the strict conditions that he rests for the next few days, drinks more water, and eats more than usual.

Later on, he posts a selca of him holding up a choco shake that the group manager noona bought him on the drive home, and captions it "eating well!". He pretends that he isn't posting it for Jinyoung to see.

\--

  
Jinyoung slides two bottles of vitamins over the table towards him the next time they see each other.

"Since you can't be trusted to take care of yourself." Jinyoung says. "Please just do this."

"I have like managers for this kind of stuff." Yugyeom says, but he takes the vitamins and puts them in his bag anyways.

\--

Later that week, he finds Jaebum on the other side of his apartment door.

"Here." Jaebum says, throwing something towards him. Yugyeom flails and just barely catches it.

"What's this?" He asks, but looks in his hand to see a bottle of vitamins -- the exact same kind that Jinyoung bought him. "Oh. Thanks hyung. I already have these though."

"Just take them anyways." Jaebum says. "Even if your managers gave you some already." Yugyeom doesn't bother correcting him.

"I will."

"I'm serious. We can't have you fainting again like that." Jaebum says with a frown. "I- we were worried."

"You were worried?" Yugyeom asks. The last thing he wanted was to worry his hyung.

"I was. I was really worried." Jaebum says. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry." Yugyeom replies.

"Don't apologize." Jaebum says quickly. "Just... take care of yourself. For me?"

"I'll try." Yugyeom says, and Jaebum squeezes his shoulder.

\--

Without even meaning to -- the origins of a song are starting to take root in his brain. The song is a bit nebulous, Yugyeom hasn't really figured out the whole thing yet. He isn't like Jaebum or Youngjae who can just sit down and hammer out a song -- his songs take time to form. But there's a little something -- the beginnings of a melody, a few lyrics here and there.

\--

"How was your weekend?" Yugyeom asks, even though he knows that he'll regret it as soon as Bambam provides him with all the gross details of his weekend away with the girlfriend.

"She's just so much fun to go out with." Bambam says, eyes practically forming hearts. Yugyeom would want to puke if he didn't know Bam so well.

"So how did you even how to ask her out?" Yugyeom asks, feeling entirely unexperienced.

"Why are you asking? Is there someone you want to ask out?" Bambam asks, visibly perking up.

"No. No. I'm just curious."

"Ugh I should've known. You're always single." Bambam says with a groan. "Boring."

"That's how I like it." Yugyeom says with a wink and Bambam elbows him in response. "So. You're getting pretty serious about her hmm?"

"I suppose." Bambam says. "I didn't think that this was going to happen when I met her."

"Don't you know right away?"

"Sometimes." Bambam replies thoughtfully. "Sometimes I think it takes more time to figure out if something serious is going to happen."

"Hmm." Yugyeom says, trying not to think of Jinyoung giving him vitamins.

 


	6. fall from grace knocked me on my knees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D here we go! I'm so sorry, I'm trying to finish up my last semester of undergrad, but we're almost done and once I'm done I'll have more time to write. I promise. I really didn't mean to take so long on this fic. I'm finishing up my Jackbum fic this month and then I PROMISE I'm going to focus on solely updating this fic!
> 
> Chapter title from the song "Pontiac 87" by Protomartyr. Although Preoccupations covered it and they did a bomb job. I'd recommend.

Yugyeom can't help but think about his conversation with Bambam. Perhaps Bambam was correct, because Yugyeom didn't see those signs of a possible great relationship at first with Jinyoung. It took some settling in. Some adjusting. Also, in the beginning Jinyoung was still so visibly affected by his previous relationship that Yugyeom couldn't really imagine anything serious.

But now Yugyeom can't help but think about Jinyoung. How he thinks that he and Jinyoung could be good together if they dated, if only Jinyoung weren't straight. There's an energy between them, something great between friends, but Yugyeom wonders what could happen if they were more than friends.

Jinyoung is caring, and funny, and he seems to just click with Yugyeom. And he's stupidly fucking hot, which doesn't help matters.

Yugyeom can't help but imagine what would happen if he just leaned over and kissed Jinyoung. He wonders what Jinyoung kisses like.

And, for all Jinyoung's pettiness, Yugyeom can't help but think he'd be a considerate boyfriend. He seems like the lowkey time, the type for casual intimacy. For thoughtful gifts, and days spent just the two of them. Jinyoung would be unbothered about anyone but the two of them.

Yugyeom can't help but want that. Except, he forcibly reminds himself -- Jinyoung is straight. So none of that can happen.

But still, late at night, Yugyeom has those dangerous thoughts.

\--

"You seem a little more relaxed these days, Gyeom-ah. It's good." Mark says, ruffling Yugyeom's hair when they're over at Jackson's apartment for dinner later that week.

"You do actually." Youngjae chimes in. "You're happier."

"I'm glad to hear it." Jaebum says with a smile.

"Finally getting your dick wet?" Bambam asks and Mark rolls his eyes.

"He'd have told us that." Mark says, and Yugyeom turns red because he probably would. Maybe not the details, but he'd tell Bambam and then Bambam would tell everyone.

"Wait, he's blushing!" Youngjae yells. "What does that mean?"

Yugyeom eventually manages to stammer out that he hasn't actually had sex, but rather that he would tell everyone when he does, and is forced into a group cuddle.

"I know you would." Mark coos, petting Yugyeom's hair. "You're too pure for this world."

"I'm not that pure." Yugyeom grumbles, but he pushes his head into Mark's hand.

\--

Later, somehow it winds up being just Yugyeom and Jaebum sitting on the couch. Yugyeom is on his phone and Jaebum is absently watching TV.

"You have been happier lately." Jaebum comments after a while. "Is there anything new?" Yugyeom looks up from his phone.

"Not really." Yugyeom says. "Just... happy with life I guess."

"Good." Jaebum replies with a smile. "I'm glad."

"Thanks hyung." Yugyeom says. "I think it's the break."

"We all needed a break." Jaebum says, stretching his arms, placing one along the back of the sofa behind Yugyeom.

"Mhm." Yugyeom agrees, turning back to his phone. "Not that I don't love promoting and stuff."

"I know." Jaebum says. "You remember we have that fanmeeting coming up soon though right?"

"Yes Dad." Yugyeom replies with a roll of his eyes. It's a routine event for one of their sponsorships.

"I'm just reminding you." Jaebum tuts. "And make sure you eat enough this time."

"I will." Yugyeom says. "I promise. That was a one-off."

"It had better have been." Jaebum says and even though it sounds like a threat, he's smiling.

\--

Jinyoung and Yugyeom hang out again a few days later. Yugyeom is going to miss their time together when he has to work on their comeback, he realizes. It's been nice.

"Has anyone told you you're handsome?" Jinyoung asks out of the blue as soon as he walks in the door. Yugyeom stares at him for a second.

"I'm only handsome when I have my hair and makeup done." He says, aiming for a joking tone, but ending up with something a bit darker. Jinyoung's face tightens.

"You're wrong." Jinyoung says weirdly. "Why would you even say that?"

"I'm joking." Yugyeom insists. "You're being weird. Why would you ask?"

"You're not funny." Jinyoung says.

"I'm plenty funny." Yugyeom grumbles.

"No. You shouldn't even joke about that. You're handsome all the time." Jinyoung says tensely. His tone sounds like he's arguing with Yugyeom, but he's complimenting him. Yugyeom thinks that there has never been a more Jinyoung moment than just now.

"Oh." Yugyeom says, feeling a strange sense of self-consciousness come over him. He never feels like this. "Thanks.

"You know... You could call me hyung if you wanted to." Jinyoung says nonchalantly. Yugyeom's gaze snaps up to look at Jinyoung.

"Oh. Really?"

"Well I am older than you." Jinyoung grumbles. "Not that you ever act like it."

"I suppose." Yugyeom muses. "And I guess we're close enough now." He adds. "Hyung." Yugyeom tests out. He's called lots of people hyung, but there's something different about the way that it sounds when he calls Jinyoung hyung. Yugyeom doesn't know what that is.

"There we go." Jinyoung says, looking pleased. "Was that so bad?"

"Yes." Yugyeom dead-pans. Jinyoung just rolls his eyes.

\--

"What do you want to watch?" Jinyoung asks when they're settled on the sofa with chicken and beer.

"I don't know. Whatever you want to watch is fine." Yugyeom says.

Riding his surge of bravery, Yugyeom puts a pillow on Jinyoung's lap and rests his head on it.

"What's this?" Jinyoung asks from above Yugyeom.

"I'm getting comfortable." Yugyeom says, wiggling his head for good measure. Jinyoung's face does something funny.

"You're not allowed to fall asleep on me." Jinyoung says definitively.

"I won't." Yugyeom promises. "I'm just resting. Didn't you say that was what I was supposed to do?"

"I didn't literally mean on me." Jinyoung grumbles, but Yugyeom knows him well enough now to know that he isn't actually mad.

Despite Jinyoung's earlier insistence, Yugyeom's eyes grow heavier and heavier as the movie stretches on, and Jinyoung doesn't do anything to stop him as Yugyeom's blinks grow more frequent, and then his eyes slowly shut.

When Yugyeom wakes up briefly, he swears that there are soft fingers running through his hair. He falls asleep again before he can confirm this.

  
\--

When he wakes up again, he finds himself tucked under a blanket.

\--

Yugyeom is in the studio the next day, fiddling with a synthesizer riff when Jaebum pokes his head through the door.

"You busy right now?" Jaebum asks.

"Super." Yugyeom says, pointing to his computer. "I'm joking. What's up?"

"I just want your advice on some lyrics." Jaebum says confidently.

"I really don't know how much help I'll be." Yugyeom says. "Youngjae or Mark might be better to ask."

"It doesn't matter. I still want your opinion." Jaebum insists, and so Yugyeom finds himself being dragged into Jaebum's studio.

He's always liked being in Jaebum's studio. There's something homey about it -- probably because Jaebum spends so much time working. He has candles burning, and there's a blanket on the cozy chair. And music playing. Always music playing.

"Bear with me. It's rough so far." Jaebum warns, queuing up the track. Yugyeom rolls his eyes. Jaebum says that about completely finished tracks.

But then the song starts playing.

The song is something a little different for Jaebum. It has the sexy undertones, like lots of his more personal work, but then there's something clear and shining in it. Something a little more truthful than Jaebum usually is in his songs -- both in the lyrics and the melody.

"It's a love song?" Yugyeom asks. It isn't totally clear, but Yugyeom gets a strange sense of longing from the song.

"Sort of." Jaebum replies, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know yet."

"I like it so far though." Yugyeom answers honestly.

"Thanks." Jaebum says, colour rising on his cheeks.

"You're clearly feeling something." Yugyeom elaborates. "It seems like you're pining."

"I'm not pining." Jaebum retorts quickly, but he grows redder.

"You are pining!" Yugyeom says gleefully. "I can't wait to tell Mark!"

"It's just... something new." Jaebum says. "I don't know. Can you... would you be able to not tell Mark?"

"I guess." Yugyeom says dramatically with a heavy sigh for emphasis. "But only if I get something out of it."

"Jackson should've never taught you to how to negotiate." Jaebum grumbles. "But fine. I owe you one."

\--

The day of their CF fanmeeting arrives. Yugyeom enjoys fanmeetings. He likes the way that he can make their fans smile so simply.

The first hour passes quickly. Yugyeom plays around, he blows kisses, and does aegyo. He loves it. He does.

And then a girl walks up in front of him and smiles, sliding her album across the table towards him. She's gorgeous. Yugyeom would be a fool not to acknowledge how beautiful she is.

"Can I take a photo?" She asks.

"We aren't allowed photos..." Yugyeom replies. "But maybe if you make it quick?"

"Okay!" She replies happily, sending him a large grin before snapping a quick photo of them. Yugyeom isn't stupid, he knows that everyone can see them doing this but he loves to make his fans happy.

"I'm going to send this to my ex." She says, tapping something furiously. "He hates you guys."

"It's a good thing he's your ex then. Because you're our girl now." Bambam replies, and Yugyeom watches her swoon. Even he has to admit that was pretty smooth.

"Hold on, I'm sending it to Jinyoung. God he'll be so mad." She says, and Yugyeom feels his face go pale. "Wait. You know Jinyoung." She says to him, eyes narrowed.

"Jinyoung who?" He asks, feigning innocence. "I'm sorry, I think you might have the wrong person."

"That photo of you and him, you think I don't-"

But then their manager is interrupting to usher her along, further down the line. Yugyeom breathes a sigh of relief.

He doesn't let down his guard for the rest of the meeting. He feels shaken, as if his privacy has been invaded. In a way it has, he supposes, and he feels gross. He can feel the sweat gathering under his shirt, and when he runs to the bathroom quickly, he can see that he's sweaty on his top lip. He never gets like this. Yugyeom is always the picture of calmness and collectedness. He loves fanmeetings. He can't believe that he's so ruffled by this whole thing.

But he also can't believe that Jinyoung's ex had the audacity to show up at a fanmeeting. She must've planned it -- people can't just walk in, they need to book ahead of time. The whole point is for fans to be able to meet them. Yugyeom splashes water on his face in an effort to ground himself, but it doesn't work. He feels just as uncentred as before.

\--

After the fanmeeting, everyone but Yugyeom and Jaebum piles into one van. The hair on the back of Yugyeom's neck sticks up. He knows that no good can come of Jaebum cornering him like this.

"You were tense at the fanmeeting today." Jaebum says once they're in the second car. His tone is deceptively light. "You usually aren't like that."

"Oh. Was I?" Yugyeom asks, even though he already knows the answer.

"Yeah. You were really odd. You weren't yourself."

"Sorry." Yugyeom says, not really meaning it. "I'll try harder next time."

"That's not what I- Were you going to faint again? Was that it? You should take better-"

"It wasn't that." Yugyeom interrupts. "Thank you though." Jaebum's eyes go wide. Yugyeom rarely ever interrupts him.

"Please don't lie to me." Jaebum says.

"I'm not lying." Yugyeom says, probably too sharply. Jaebum sends him a warning look. Yugyeom softens. "I'm not lying to you. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that promise." Jaebum says. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I'm not going to hurt myself." Yugyeom replies. "Really. You don't need to worry."

"It's kind of my job to worry."

"Well... there are other people that worry about me too." Yugyeom says. "Including myself. I'm not fourteen anymore."

"I know you aren't!"

"You don't always act like you do though." Yugyeom broaches carefully. Jaebum's face tightens, and Yugyeom knows that he needs to be careful in this conversation.

"I-" Jaebum starts to say.

"I'm kind of tired hyung. Can we talk about this later?" Yugyeom interrupts. It's the truth. He's fucking exhausted.

Jaebum doesn't push it further. He lets Yugyeom pretend to sleep for the rest of the way home.

\--

Yugyeom allows himself to collapse onto his bed when he gets home, head reeling. He doesn't feel good about the meeting at all.

**yu_gyeom**   
**Can i facetime you rn or are you busy**

**pepi_jy_**   
**Im free**

"What's up?" Jinyoung asks when Yugyeom gets through. He's lying on his bed, and it doesn't look like he's wearing a shirt. Yugyeom forces himself not to get distracted.

"So... something happened." Yugyeom says.

"Huh? What happened?"

"I met your girlfriend." Yugyeom says. "I'm pretty sure."

"What?" Jinyoung asks, shock evident in his voice and on his face.

"Uh, this girl showed up to a fan-sign and said she'd send a photo of us to you because you were in a photo?"

"Long brown hair? Long legs? High cheekbones?" Jinyoung asks, face paling.

"Uhh, yeah?" Yugyeom replies. Jinyoung looks like he wants to die.

"Oh fuck." Jinyoung says. "I thought she was joking."

"Joking about what?"

"Going to see you." Jinyoung groans.

"Um. What?"

"She saw that photo of us together and asked me how I knew you. I guess she likes GOT6 or something."

"Oh." Yugyeom says. "Well. She was there. She had an album to sign and everything. She said she was going to give it to you. Since I guess you hate me." He adds, trying not to sound weird. He doesn't think his effort works.

"That's not-"

"It's whatever."

"No it's not!" Jinyoung says. "I said that shit before I was friends with you. Before I understood." Yugyeom still doesn't think that Jinyoung gets it, but he lets it slide.

"It's... whatever then." Yugyeom concedes.

"I'm so sorry Yugyeom." Jinyoung says sincerely. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know you are." Yugyeom says, feeling any anger he'd had before deflate in his chest.

"I just... how can I make this better? Can I make this better?" Jinyoung asks, and he sounds so stupidly dejected by the whole situation that it makes Yugyeom's chest twist.

"Nothing. It wasn't your fault." He assures Jinyoung.

"But still. That's crazy of her! I'm going to talk to her about it." Jinyoung says in a determined voice. Yugyeom tamps down the pang of jealousy that bubbles up in his stomach.

"It's fine." Yugyeom replies emphatically. "It didn't feel great. But it's over."

"I guess."

"I promise it's fine. It isn't even the worst encounter I've ever had at a fan meeting."

"Oh god." Jinyoung says, rubbing his hands over his face. "I don't even want to know what your worst encounter was."

"Let's just say... it involves a lot of fish." Yugyeom spoils and watches as Jinyoung grimaces. "That's all I'll reveal."

"You know... that makes me want to know that it is even less." Jinyoung says, looking thoroughly grossed out.

\--

Jinyoung doesn't stop texting Yugyeom telling him that he's sorry for the next two days.

\--

Yugyeom is over at Jaebum's apartment the next week -- just him, Jackson and Jaebum, when Jackson gets a shit-eating grin on his face. Yugyeom is intimately familiar with this grin. Jackson only gets it when he's up to no good.

"Hey so... I saw you with that girl yesterday. What's her name?" Jackson says to Jaebum, nudging his shoulder. Yugyeom looks up from his phone to look at the two of them.

"Mijoo." Jaebum answers.

"Oh. Mijoo." Jackson responds, drawing out his syllables. "That's what? The fourth time?"

"Yeah, we've been hanging out." Jaebum says nonchalantly.

"She's hot." Jackson says and Jaebum bites his lip.

"She's alright." Jaebum says, but he's blushing. Yugyeom wonders who the girl is. Jaebum hadn't mentioned anything to him. But then again he never usually does.

"Just alright?" Jackson asks. "Wow. If that's just alright, I don't want to know what your idea of super hot is." He adds and lets out a whistle. Yugyeom just shakes his head and gets up to go get some water.

As he's drinking, he pauses to think about it. Jaebum is attractive, objectively speaking. Yugyeom hasn't ever thought of him in a sexual way though. He's just Jaebum. His hyung. His leader.

Their dating ban is over. There's no reason why Jaebum couldn't date someone. It would make Jaebum happier probably, Yugyeom thinks. Someone pretty would fit his hyung. Jaebum is all hard lines -- he needs someone softer to balance him out, Yugyeom thinks. This girl must be who Jaebum is pining for in his song. He wonders if he's showed her that song.

His mind drifts to Jinyoung for a second, but Yugyeom forces himself to stop that train of thought.

\--

**yu_gyeom**   
**come over for dinner?**

**pepi_ jy_**   
**Are you cooking?**   
**I don't feel like dying today**

**yu_gyeom**   
**shut up**   
**dinner's at 6**

\--

Jinyoung shows up to Yugyeom's apartment at five o'clock holding a bottle of expensive cheongju.

"It's a weeknight." Yugyeom says, raising an eyebrow.

"It's an apology gift." Jinyoung insists, grabbing Yugyeom's hand to make him take it.

"I told you to stop apologizing." Yugyeom replies, but he takes the wine anyways. "I also told you to come at six."

"I thought I'd help you cook? If that's okay?" Jinyoung asks.

"My cooking is not that bad." Yugyeom insists flatly. "I don't need supervision all the time."

"Whatever." Jinyoung replies. "Just let me help you."

"Fine." Yugyeom says, and lifts up his arm to point Jinyoung toward the kitchen.

"Is that what I think it is?" Jinyoung asks suddenly, sounding surprised. Yugyeom turns to face him.

"Hmm?"

"Um. Tattoo?" Jinyoung says, and points to Yugyeom's exposed side. He's just in a sleeveless shirt that he'd cut at the sides to make it more comfortable.

"What about it?" Yugyeom asks.

"I didn't know you have a tattoo."

"I have two actually." Yugyeom says, and lifts up his shirt to show the two on both sides of his ribcage. Jinyoung whistles. If Yugyeom flexes his abs, no one has to know.

"Well look at you. I didn't think you'd be a bad boy." Jinyoung teases. Yugyeom rolls his eyes.

"I'm the farthest thing from it."

"The tattoos? The black clothes?" Jinyoung asks, clicking his tongue. "I don't know."

"I'm always given a cute image at work." Yugyeom says. "Because I'm the youngest."  
  
"Are idols allowed to have tattoos?"

"Uh, yeah?" Yugyeom says. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Doesn't your company have rules?"

"They aren't completely authoritarian." Yugyeom replies with a laugh. "Just mostly. Besides, nobody can see this tattoo unless I have no shirt on."

"Huh. I would've never known." Jinyoung says, mostly to himself.

"We are allowed to be people." Yugyeom says.

  
"I know." Jinyoung says. "Well. Now I know."

"You learn something new everyday." Yugyeom teases.

"Shut up." Jinyoung says and Yugyeom sticks his tongue out. Jinyoung shoves him into the kitchen.

\--

The new Twice song comes on the radio as he's stir frying the vegetables, and without pausing, Yugyeom goes into the choreography. He can't help it.

"Wait, you can dance?" Jinyoung asks when Yugyeom is done, looking surprised.

"Uh, yeah? I'm an idol? It's our job?" Yugyeom says slowly to emphasize Jinyoung's stupidity. "Oh my god. You're clueless."

"I'm not!" Jinyoung replies. "Okay. Maybe I am." Yugyeom waggles his arms in celebration.

"I'm an okay dancer." He says. Perhaps it's an understatement -- Yugyeom is most definitely not just a mediocre dancer, but Jinyoung doesn't need to know that.

"Okay?" Jinyoung asks.

"Yeah." Yugyeom replies, scratching the back of his neck. Maybe he isn't just okay.

"Show me." Jinyoung demands, and Yugyeom doesn't really know why Jinyoung wants to see him dance so badly.

"Right here?" He asks, pointing to the kitchen of his apartment.

"Yes." Jinyoung says. "Put some music on or something."

So Yugyeom does. He isn't doing anything crazy, just something he'd been playing around with to a new Drake song. But maybe there's more thrusting and slow grinding than he thought. That's just his style, he's grown immune to it, to how it looks to other people.

Yugyeom realizes in hindsight that it probably isn't the best routine to show someone, because it's very sexual. But he only realizes this when he's grinding on the floor and holding eye contact with Jinyoung. And Jinyoung is biting his lip, probably in discomfort, Yugyeom realizes, so he gets off the floor and winds the dance down. Jinyoung slumps down in a chair.

"Um. Wow." Jinyoung says, a little dazedly. "That was..."

"A little sexual, I know." Yugyeom replies with a laugh.

"A little? I felt like you were fucking me." Jinyoung mutters.

"Oh. Sorry." Yugyeom says, feeling himself blush. Dangerous images come to mind of Jinyoung having sex. Of his hair falling his eyes. Of sweat dripping down his chest. Of Jinyoung's hands holding someone's hips in place while he fucks them...

Yugyeom forces himself to stop thinking such things. It isn't going to do him any good.

"Don't apologize, just... Warn someone before you do that. Or you might give them a heart attack." Jinyoung says, and coughs. His face has been turning red as they've been talking, Yugyeom realizes.

"Sorry." Yugyeom says. "Oh, I mean-" Before he knows it though, Jinyoung has stood up and pressed his hand against Yugyeom's mouth.

"Stop that." Jinyoung says, pulling his hand away only after Yugyeom nods. "You apologize too much."

It's only then that Yugyeom realizes how close they are to each other. And how Jinyoung's hand was just on his mouth. And what he'd just done in front of Jinyoung.

"Oh." He hears slip out from his lips. Jinyoung's eyes widen.


	7. i cannot kick this habit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Next chapter! We're cracking along :D As per usual -- let me know your thoughts. Are you team Jinyoung or team Jaebum? I'm team takoyaki ;)
> 
> Chapter title from "Habit (Blood Cultures Remix)" by Cool Company.

"What are you doing?" Yugyeom asks, muffled by Jinyoung's hand. Jinyoung drops his hand from Yugyeom's mouth as if the contact burned him.

"Oh. Uh. Sorry." Jinyoung mutters.

"Now who's the one who doesn't need to apologize?" Yugyeom teases, but he feels himself blushing anyways.

"But-"

"Relax Jinyoung." Yugyeom assures him. Jinyoung's cheeks are flushed. He must be embarrassed, Yugyeom thinks.

"Sorry." Jinyoung says hastily. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay." Yugyeom says. "I just didn't expect you to jump up and smother me." He says dramatically.

"Oh my god."

"What's next?" Yugyeom cries. "Where will this madness end?"

"Watch out or I'll shut you up for real." Jinyoung says, and any awkwardness between them dissipates.

"Come on." Yugyeom says. "Or our dinner will go cold."

They're eating their dinner when Yugyeom feels Jinyoung brush his feet against Yugyeom's. Yugyeom startles, but when he looks at Jinyoung, Jinyoung looks entirely unbothered. So Yugyeom brushes his feet back, seeing if this will garner a reaction. Jinyoung doesn't move. Yugyeom supposes that this is Jinyoung's way of normalizing them, so he figures it's alright.

They eat their dinner with their feet tangled together under the table. Yugyeom figures that this has to be normal.

\--

Yugyeom wakes up in the night that night with another snippet of song lyrics.

\--

He heads to the company the next day to visit his juniors, and to also work on his song. It's starting to take a definite shape now, he thinks.

He can just see Jaebum's broad shoulders, but that's enough for Yugyeom to know who it is.

"Jaebum hyung!" Yugyeom calls out, and Jaebum turns around to give him a huge smile.

"Yugyeom-ah!" Jaebum calls back.

"How's the song coming?" Yugyeom asks.

"Good. Er. Good. I didn't think you'd remember." Jaebum says, looking genuinely surprised.

"Of course I would hyung!" Yugyeom replies quickly. "How could I not?"

"That song isn't a big deal."

"It's good though."

"I've been fiddling with it. Sometimes I think it's too sad."

"Sad songs are okay."

"I don't want it to be a sad song though. I want it to be a happy song." Jaebum says with a strange inflection in his voice. Yugyeom doesn't know what to make of it.

"You can turn it into a happy song then. Just rearrange a few things and make it more upbeat."

"It isn't quite that simple."

"Yes it is. You know how to change songs, you've been making music for long enough." Yugyeom says, unsure why Jaebum seems so stubborn.

"This song is different." Jaebum insists. Yugyeom rolls his eyes.

"Okay, fine. Have it your way." Jaebum is chewing on his lip, looking nervous. "You're being weird." Yugyeom declares.

"Where's the hyung?" Jaebum asks, and leans over to swat at Yugyeom. "You think you can get away with that?"

"Yes?" Yugyeom says, and then he needs to stand up to avoid the water bottle being tossed towards him. "Hey!"

"What are you doing here?" Jaebum asks.

"I came to say hello to the juniors." He explains. He doesn't want to tell Jaebum about his song just yet. The time isn't quite right. "What about you?"

"I had a meeting." Jaebum says, and doesn't elaborate. So Yugyeom doesn't push any further.

"Wait. This timing isn't quite right but... Do you have a girlfriend hyung?" Yugyeom asks, and Jaebum's eyes bug out.

"What?"

"I heard you and Jackson-"

"That was nothing." Jaebum says. "Really. Nothing."

"But-"

"No buts. I don't have her in my heart." Jaebum says emphatically. Yugyeom raises an eyebrow.

"Uh. Okay? I should go then. Stray Kids are waiting." He says, and Jaebum nods.

"Tell them I say hi!"

"I will." Yugyeom promises, and watches Jaebum go on his way, still confused by their conversation. He doesn't know which part of it was stranger: the part where Jaebum was vague about his song, or his non-existent girlfriend.

\--

The awkwardness between he and Jinyoung is long-gone after that moment, but the thought of Jinyoung having sex lingers in Yugyeom's brain. It pops up at inopportune times, like when Yugyeom is watching porn, or jerking off. He just... can't help but replay the mental image of Jinyoung having sex.

Yugyeom can't switch off those thoughts. He doesn't really try that hard to either.

He hasn't seen Jinyoung naked, but there have been times when his shirtsleeve rides up or something, and Yugyeom gets a tantalizing flash of what Jinyoung's body looks like under his clothes.

Yugyeom wonders if Jinyoung takes charge in bed — he certainly seems bossy enough the rest of the time, Yugyeom thinks with an audible snort.

But yet, sometimes he has a soft side. A side where he'd let someone else take care of him. A side where he'd let someone lean him up against a wall and kiss him senseless.

\--

The day after he goes to the studio, he's waiting for a conference call with the head producer of the company when Jinyoung calls.

"Hello?" Yugyeom asks. "What's up?"

"I talked to my ex-girlfriend." Jinyoung says, en lieu of greeting him properly. Yugyeom chews on his lip.

"You didn't need to do that."

"She was harassing you." Jinyoung says fiercely. "That isn't alright with me."

"She wasn't doing anything terrible."

"Were you uncomfortable?" Jinyoung demands.

"Well. Yes." Yugyeom admits. Jinyoung's face turns stormy.

"Then it isn't alright. She came up to you in a position where you couldn't say no!"

"I suppose. But it's part of my job to meet with people."

"To meet with fans you mean." Jinyoung says. If they were in an anime, Jinyoung would be literally steaming with anger at this point, Yugyeom thinks. "She was just trying to get my attention. But anyways. I told her to leave you alone, and that if I heard anything from her about you again I'd call my lawyer. Actually, come to think of it, I don't know a lawyer but I could find one."

"Jinyoung."

"You mean a lot to me. And she was taking advantage of it." Yugyeom is stunned into silence for a second.

"Er-"

"I don't want anyone to take advantage of you okay!" Jinyoung bursts out, and Yugyeom can feel himself turning redder. Yugyeom can't help but feel a bloom of satisfaction in his chest that Jinyoung got all protective over him.

"I need to go, sorry. I'm waiting for another call but we'll talk soon hmm?"

"Coffee later this week?" Jinyoung asks.

"You want to do coffee?" Yugyeom asks.

"Yeah. I'll text you." Jinyoung promises, and hangs up. Yugyeom lets out a heavy sigh, but he's happy. Jinyoung acted... he acted like a boyfriend a little bit. He was protective. And Yugyeom likes it.

\--

Five minutes later, the conference call with the company goes through.

"Hey. I'm on." Yugyeom says and hears everyone else say hello.

"Good. Now we're just waiting for Jackson?" One of the managers says.

"I'm on." Jackson says after a slight pause.

"Good. So. You've all been enjoying your break, but we're looking to gear up for a comeback." The producer says.

"So soon?" Jaebum asks.

"We have some options of timelines of course, but we just wanted to let you know that we're pushing for a comeback in the next three months. We have some things slotted up already, but we need a single. We're open to anything you've composed, or the company producers have some songs in the works."

"Sounds good." Jaebum says. "Is anyone working on anything?"

Youngjae and Bambam say that they've written a bit, and Mark says that he's been working on some rap bits with Jackson. Yugyeom thinks of his song idea, but he decides to wait until later to tell them about it.

"And there's the magazine spread for Japan next week." One of the managers says. "We'll send you the schedules when they're finalized."

"Sounds good." Mark says. "We haven't been since our last tour. I want takoyaki."

\--

 **pepi_jy_**  
**you're still good for coffee?**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**are u sure?**  
**if we're out in public i met get recognized**

 **pepi_jy_**  
**im sure**  
**I don't care**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**saturday?**  
**anywhere u want to go?**

\--

Yugyeom knows that's a big step for Jinyoung. He knows that the world of celebrities and fame isn't Jinyoung's favourite. But here he is, agreeing to meet Yugyeom in a public place for coffee.

\--

The cafe that Jinyoung picks is cute, Yugyeom thinks. It's cozy and warm inside, and bookshelves line the walls. It feels very... Jinyoung.

And this time he finds Jinyoung waiting for him at a table already, with a smile and a wave. It feels very different from the first time they had coffee together.

"Hey you." Jinyoung greets. "I got you a hot chocolate?"

"Hey. Thanks." Yugyeom greets back. "You look tired." Yugyeom says.

"I am." Jinyoung says. "Work has been killing me."

"We could've done this another time and you could've slept in." Yugyeom says with a frown.

"It wouldn't make a difference." Jinyoung says. "Work just sucks."

"It seems like it sucks a lot." Yugyeom says carefully.

"I know. I know. Some of my friends think I should quit."

"Well. That's a little extreme maybe." Yugyeom says. "But it's your call." He tapers off because he doesn't think Jinyoung is paying attention. Actually, Jinyoung is just staring at him. His mouth to be specific, if Yugyeom isn't mistaken. Yugyeom wracks his brain -- he's certain that he hadn't put on any lip tint that morning, and he hadn't ordered anything besides a hot chocolate.

"Hyung?"

"What?"

"You're staring at my lips. Is there something on them?"

"Oh." Jinyoung says, gaze snapping up to meet Yugyeom's eyes, and then down to the table. "No. Sorry. I must've spaced out."

"It's okay." Yugyeom says. For a second, it looks as if Jinyoung is going to say something, but then someone taps Yugyeom on the shoulder. It's a girl, someone who looks vaguely familiar, but Yugyeom can't quite place her.

"Excuse me. Are you Yugyeom from GOT6?" The girl asks tentatively.

"That's me." Yugyeom replies.

"Can I get a photo?" The girl asks shyly and Yugyeom smiles. "You can say no."

"Of course you can." Yugyeom says. "Would you like me to put my arm around you or just side-by-side?" He asks.

"Just side-by-side is fine." She squeaks out and Yugyeom smiles reassuringly. She lifts her phone up, and Yugyeom leans in closer.

She takes the photo, smile so large on the screen that it makes Yugyeom smile harder too.

"Thank you. Enjoy your coffee!" She says, beaming now, and waves to Yugyeom. Yugyeom waves back. He turns to Jinyoung.

"You want a photo too?" Yugyeom says to Jinyoung, mostly teasing.

"Whatever popstar." Jinyoung says, but he stands up and comes to Yugyeom's side of the table.

"I was joking."

"I wasn't." Jinyoung says. "You have a newer phone than me so you take the photo." He insists.

Yugyeom takes a few photos of the two of them. He makes his usual cute faces, and Jinyoung just smiles.

\--

The Japanese magazine spread sneaks up on Yugyeom without him even realizing. He finds himself on a plane, and then he finds himself being shepherded into a van to the magazine headquarters. The photoshoot goes by quickly, and Yugyeom never minds getting his photo taken.

But then there's the actual interview part of the deal.

"What's your ideal type?" The interviewer asks everyone. Yugyeom pauses to think for a moment while the others answer.

"I like a girl with strong eyebrows, full lips, and curves." He says when it's his turn, mind conjuring up images of Jinyoung. He only has to edit his answer slightly, so it isn't even really a lie.

"Oh. That's your type?" The interviewer says and Yugyeom nods.

"I like a quirky girl." He elaborates. "With her own charms."

"Ahh Yugyeom. He's always liked that type." Youngjae says. "I like a cute girl who wears skinny jeans and leather jackets."

"You wear skinny jeans and leather jackets." Bambam teases and Youngjae shrugs.

"So? I like to match." Bambam mimes barfing and Yugyeom watches the interviewer stifle her laugh. He takes the moment to imagine being part of a couple that has matching things. Matching phone cases. Matching hoodies. Matching shoes. They wouldn't even need to be together to wear them, it could be enough to just wear them on the same day. Yugyeom's mind flickers to Jinyoung. To matching with Jinyoung.

"Yugyeom?" He hears, and is broken suddenly from his reverie.

"Hmm?" He asks. "Oh, sorry, I spaced out." He adds a big smile, and the interviewer moves past him, onto the next round of questions.

\--

They're in the van on the way to the airport when Jackson speaks in a tone that Yugyeom knows will bring nothing good.

"Yugyeom-ah?" Jackson sing-songs from the back seat.

"Yes?" Yugyeom responds, even though he has a faint inkling what Jackson is going to say.

"Who's the girl?" Jackson asks.

"Who?"

"The one you described in the interview. Who is she?"

"No one. I made her up." Yugyeom says absently. "You know I'm single."

"That doesn't mean you can't like someone though." Jackson replies, waggling his eyebrows.

\--

 **yu_gyeom**  
**back from japan!!!**  
**:P**

 **pepi_jy_**  
**can I come over?**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**if you want?**  
**i'm home**

\--

Jinyoung meets Yugyeom at his apartment twenty minutes after he'd texted. He looks a little soggy.

"Is it raining?" Yugyeom asks. It wasn't when he got home from the airport.

"It just started when I was walking from the station." Jinyoung explains.

"Do you want something to drink?" Yugyeom asks.

"I don't want to drink I don't think." Jinyoung says.

"I have tea? Hot chocolate?"

"Of course you have hot chocolate." Jinyoung replies with a laugh. "I'll have one of those I guess."

Yugyeom gets to work making them both hot chocolates, and then he goes goes to his bedroom to change into sweatpants when he hears a loud yelp from the kitchen.

"What is it?" He asks, pulling up his pants quickly and trying to see what happened.

"I spilled hot chocolate all over my sweater." Jinyoung says forlornly, and Yugyeom bursts out laughing when he gets a look. Jinyoung really did. There's a huge brown stain all over the front of his sweater.

"Come on. I'll put it through the wash right now." Yugyeom says with a final laugh.

"I'll be cold."

"You can borrow something of mine if you want." Yugyeom says nonchalantly. He hopes Jinyoung says yes.

"Fine." Jinyoung agrees. "Something cozy."

"I can do that." Yugyeom says. He goes back into his bedroom and pulls out his baggiest, softest sweater for Jinyoung.

He throws it at Jinyoung, who catches it roughly. Then Jinyoung takes off his sweater and for a single delicious second Yugyeom catches a glimpse of Jinyoung in just a t-shirt, but far too quickly Jinyoung pulls the sweater over his head.

Jinyoung is... hot. Yugyeom had already thought his face was handsome, but coupled with those arms and the slightest hint of abs... Yugyeom forces himself to swallow.

He quickly takes the stained sweater and shoves into the washing machine, trying to get a hold on his thoughts. 

They get more overwhelming because when he gets back to Jinyoung, he's faced with Jinyoung in Yugyeom's sweater. 

"This sweater is enormous." Jinyoung says, twirling around once for Yugyeom. It extends past his hands, and well past his waist. Yugyeom can't help but stop and stare.

He likes the sight of Jinyoung drowning in his oversized sweater. It sends a strangely satisfactory feeling through his body. Something primal in him likes knowing that Jinyoung is covered in him. He can't help but imagine Jinyoung waiting for him at home in a sweater and boxers, waiting for Yugyeom to come home and...

"I look absurd." Jinyoung says grumpily, waggling the long arms at Yugyeom.

"You look good." Yugyeom replies, and he even dares to shoot a wink at Jinyoung. Jinyoung rolls his eyes, but he looks away from Yugyeom as if he's embarrassed.

"Of course." Jinyoung says with a sniff. "I'm more handsome than you."

"Bastard." Yugyeom retorts with no heat. "Give me the sweater back."

"Fine." Jinyoung says, wrapping his arms around himself as if expecting Yugyeom to strip the sweater off him. "I'll keep it. You better watch it, this is cozy. I might steal it."

"You could sell it on Naver if you wanted." Yugyeom says, sticking his tongue out.

"No thanks." Jinyoung replies with a shudder. "Wait. How much money do you think I could make?"

"Depends." Yugyeom answers with a shrug. "People would be able to pretend that I was their boyfriend and I gave them a sweater. That'd be cool."

"Ooh I can pretend that you're my boyfriend then?" Jinyoung asks, raising an eyebrow and wrapping his arms around himself. "It's like you're hugging me." He says and closes his eyes. "Ah."

"Shut up." Yugyeom says.

"Such a good boyfriend." Jinyoung says. "Lending me your sweater."

"You're embarrassing." Yugyeom says. "I'd be such a lame boyfriend." He adds, blushing even harder

"You would not." Jinyoung says.

"Yes I would." Yugyeom says. "I... I don't think I'd be a good boyfriend at all." He says, feeling oddly shy all of a sudden.

"You're- it would hardly be a hardship to date you." Jinyoung says. Yugyeom doesn't think that he can turn any more red than he is right now.

"Oh. Um. Thanks." Yugyeom says, face flaming red.

"You should know that."

"It wouldn't be a hardship to date you either." Yugyeom says quietly, and Jinyoung just stares at him with wide eyes.

"You're lying." Jinyoung says. "You don't need to say it back just because I said it."

"I'm not lying." Yugyeom says honestly. Like he could lie about something like that to Jinyoung.

"Oh." Jinyoung says.

And then Yugyeom looks out the window to see the rain coming down in sheets.

"Oh my gosh. I didn't even notice how hard it's raining." He says. Jinyoung turns to look too.

"The rain looks awful. Worse than on the way in." Jinyoung says looking out the window with a grim expression. "Getting home is going to be such a hassle."

"Then just stay here for the night." Yugyeom replies before he even knows what he's saying.

"Are you sure?" Jinyoung asks. Yugyeom nods.

"I don't have anything to do tomorrow morning." He answers, trying to play it cool. "It doesn't matter if you stay. And besides, you need to wait until your sweater is done in the laundry."

"I guess I can." Jinyoung agrees. "And you don't mind me stealing your sofa?"

"As long as you return it." Yugyeom says.

Jinyoung sits down on the sofa and looks at Yugyeom expectantly.

"Come on." He says, and pats the sofa next to him. "Rainy night means movie night."

"What do you want to watch?" Yugyeom asks, but he sits down next to Jinyoung anyways. Then, he shifts his legs so that they're up on the sofa. Then Jinyoung shifts his legs so that their feet are just touching.

"Something cute." Jinyoung says. "I've been in the mood."

\--

They wind up watching TV until midnight, when Yugyeom sees Jinyoung nodding off. He fetches a blanket and a pillow and sets them on the sofa beside Jinyoung.

"Good night hyung." He says. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night." Jinyoung mumbles.

\--

Two hours later Yugyeom is tossing and turning in his bed. He wonders if Jinyoung is asleep. Then he remembers that he can check.

Yugyeom quietly opens the door to his bedroom and looks out at the living room.

Jinyoung is even more beautiful than usual like this, he thinks.

He's in Yugyeom's apartment, on Yugyeom's sofa, wearing Yugyeom's sweater. It's almost as if just for a moment Jinyoung is really his.

So, just for the moment, Yugyeom imagines what it would be like to wake up next to Jinyoung. It's absurd, he knows. But yet. Here he is, watching Jinyoung sleep pretending that it's as if they're lying in bed together. He's a sap.

But then --

Jinyoung's eyes flutter open. Yugyeom freezes in place. Jinyoung's eyes land on him, opening wider for a moment, before they crinkle. He's smiling at Yugyeom, Yugyeom realizes.

"What is it?" Jinyoung asks in a sleepy voice.

"Oh. Uh, nothing." Yugyeom says. "Just seeing if you were asleep. Or if you needed anything." He lies quickly.

"I'm good. Thanks Gyeom." Jinyoung replies, and his eyes shut again. Yugyeom turns around and closes the door to his bedroom quickly. He leans against it for a moment, heart beating a little faster than usual. Jinyoung caught him staring at him while he slept.

Yugyeom winces but his heart pounds.


	8. (go go) out of my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's not talk about how long this took me to finish. This chapter is for my team Jinyoung supporters. Team Jaebum supporters... you'll like the next chapter. 
> 
> Chapter title from 'HEAD' by Cities Aviv.

The first thing that Yugyeom thinks when he wakes up the next morning, is that Jinyoung is in his apartment.

Yugyeom carefully checks himself in the mirror to make sure that he doesn't have crazy hair, or any new zits that have appeared overnight, and brushes his teeth. He just needs to look good for Jinyoung. Just in case.

He comes into the kitchen to find a sleepy looking Jinyoung sitting at the island, looking at the steaming rice cooker.

"Good morning." Yugyeom says with a yawn.

"Good morning." Jinyoung says in turn. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did. Did you?" Yugyeom asks, stretching his arms above his head. Jinyoung's eyes flick to him for a second, and then Jinyoung flushes and looks away. Yugyeom realizes that his shirt had ridden up while he was stretching and a sliver of stomach was exposed. He isn't sure why Jinyoung looked away though, it was just his stomach.

"Yeah. Yeah, I slept well." Jinyoung says.

"Good. I'm glad." Yugyeom says. "What are you making?"

"Rice." Jinyoung says. "You have some leftovers. I didn't want to be presumptuous but I thought I could get something together."

"You don't need to." Yugyeom says. "You're a guest."

"I don't mind." Jinyoung says. "Besides. We're friends, I'm way more than a guest." The way that Jinyoung says that so casually makes Yugyeom's heart flutter. Jinyoung has accepted that their lives are intertwined now makes Yugyeom happy. He knows that Jinyoung doesn't see it as anything more than it already is, but. But.

"Do you need any help then?" Yugyeom asks and Jinyoung smiles at him.

"Yeah. Grab the leftovers out of the fridge?"

They're just about to finish their breakfast when Yugyeom's front door beeps open.

And Bambam comes in. Jinyoung looks over at Bambam and Bambam visibly startles. He's just dressed in pajamas and his eyeglasses, and he has no makeup on. He doesn't look anything like an idol. Yugyeom supposes that he never does. The only time Jinyoung has seen him in idol form was when he was in the hospital, with smudged eye makeup. Yugyeom wonders if maybe he should put more of an effort into his appearance. But then again, Jinyoung is straight, so why bother?

Bambam looks at the door and then looks back at Yugyeom and Jinyoung.

"Oh, Jinyoung isn't it?" Bambam asks. Jinyoung nods. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Jinyoung says back.

"I'm Bambam, Yugyeom's best friend." Bambam says.

"I know. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Er, I ate before I got here. Thank you though." Bambam says.

"We should have enough food though. Don't be shy." Jinyoung says. Yugyeom realizes how domestic this must look to Bambam -- Yugyeom and Jinyoung sitting in Yugyeom's kitchen eating breakfast together.

"He slept over?" Bambam mouths to Yugyeom. Yugyeom nods. Bambam's face morphs into an expression that Yugyeom doesn't understand. "I'm okay." He says to Jinyoung.

"Okay." Jinyoung says with a shrug. Bambam sits down at the table too, watching Jinyoung and Yugyeom eat. Yugyeom doesn't know what to say, and Jinyoung seems somewhat uncomfortable too. Yugyeom's friendship with Jinyoung and his friendship with Bambam are two separate worlds.

"Thanks for breakfast." Yugyeom says.

"You're welcome. I should get going Gyeom." Jinyoung says. "I'll text you."

"Of course." Yugyeom says, standing up to walk Jinyoung out. He's still dressed in Yugyeom's sweater when he leaves, even though Yugyeom gives him his now clean and dry sweater. Yugyeom feels flush with warmth.

"Thanks for letting me stay over too." Jinyoung says. "I even managed to sleep okay."

"I'm glad." Yugyeom says. They stare at each other for a moment.

"Bye." Jinyoung says quietly.

"Bye." Yugyeom says back, and watches Jinyoung go down the hallway until he's gone.

Yugyeom comes back to find Bambam sitting on the sofa, arms crossed.

"Do you have any coffee?" Bambam asks.

"Yeah, there's some instant stuff in the tea cupboard." Yugyeom says, and Bambam finds it right away.

Bambam settles down on the sofa with his mug of coffee. He pats the sofa beside him and Yugyeom sits down.

"So about that girl you mentioned in the interview." Bambam says, and Yugyeom groans.

"I told you, there is no girl." He says. It's the truth, technically.

"But there could be someone." Bambam says carefully. "Because I'm pretty sure that you and -"

"Stop right there." Yugyeom says, cutting him off. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Do you?" Bambam asks.

"I-"

"You like them." Bambam says, all teasing gone from his voice. Instead, he sounds unusually tender.

"No." Yugyeom insists, but he knows that Bambam knows he's lying. They've been best friends for too long for Bambam to recognize when Yugyeom is lying. He just walked in on Yugyeom and Jinyoung having breakfast together after Jinyoung spent the night.

"Gyeom-ah." Bambam says in a sad tone. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing." Yugyeom admits. "Absolutely nothing." Because there's no other answer. Jinyoung is straight and not famous. Yugyeom is a gay idol. Nothing can happen between them, regardless of what Yugyeom's foolish foolish heart might want.

"That's so shitty."

"I know. But I can't do anything anyways."

"But-"

"I can't. It doesn't matter."

"Yugyeom." Bambam says softly.

"And you can't tell anyone." Yugyeom begs. "You can't breathe a word of this to anyone. I'm not fucking joking right now. This is serious."

"I... I won't." Bambam says. "You know that I'm always here for you. Always."

"I know." Yugyeom replies. "But I just want you to know that I'm serious about this."

Bambam rests his head on Yugyeom's shoulder and lets out a heavy sigh.

"What are we going to do?" Bambam asks. "You know that you can't... be happy like this."

"I know I can't."

\--

Yugyeom thinks about his conversation with Bambam. That was the closest he's ever come to telling the truth about his sexuality. He doesn't know how Bambam managed to figure out that he likes Jinyoung but here he is.

He knows that Bam would never purposely do anything to hurt him, ever. But Bam also has a tendency to overshare. And that's what Yugyeom can't help but fear that happening. He can't be outed. It's bad enough that Bambam knows.

Yugyeom has always been aware of what would happen if people knew the truth.

His company would fire him. His fans would hate him. He'd probably have to change his name. His parents would be sad. His band members and his friends... Yugyeom doesn't even know what would happen there.

Bambam would stick by his side. He knows that. And maybe some of his non-famous friends. They've known him forever. But not all of them. And he doesn't know about his members. Jaebum has always been prickly about the subject, but Jackson loves his male fans. He might... Yugyeom stops himself. He's getting anxious and nothing has even happened yet. There's no point in worrying until something happens. Yugyeom hopes nothing happens. He hasn't worked so hard for so long for his secret to get out.

He pauses and talks some deep breaths. Bambam is his best friend. He would never do anything to hurt Yugyeom.

\--

In the midst of his angst over Bambam finding out his secret, Yugyeom finishes his song lyrics. When he's done, he's realized that at its root, it is a song about realizing feelings. Realizing that feelings run deeper than you initially anticipated. Yugyeom can't help but parallel it to his own growing feelings for Jinyoung. Because they're growing, and they don't seem to be stopping.

\--

He decides to tell Jaebum about the song. It's been long enough, Yugyeom thinks. By this point it's just about fully formed. There needs to be some tinkering with the production but he has a definitive melody and lyrics. Yugyeom feels ready to put his demo forward to the company but he figures that showing Jaebum first is a good start. His hyung will be able to give him good advice before he has to show PD-nim. Jaebum also won't yell or turn the music off after three seconds.

"Hyung?" He asks and Jaebum pulls one headphone off his ear without turning back. "Are you busy right now?"

"Oh! Yugyeom!" Jaebum says, taking his headphones off and getting up to come over and greet Yugyeom. "No, I'm not busy. What's up?"

"I wanted to tell you something." Yugyeom says, forcing himself to be brave.

"Oh, yeah, anything." Jaebum says, shifting his weight.

"I'm working on a song right now." He says tentatively. Jaebum's face morphs almost imperceptibly.

"Oh. For the album?" He presses.

"I was thinking so." Yugyeom admits.

"That's great Gyeom-ah! I think people would love it if you wrote a song."

"Thanks hyung." Yugyeom says shyly. "Um. Do you want to listen to it?"

"I would love to." Jaebum answers smoothly, smiling at him. "Do you have it with you?"

"Yeah I have the demo on my phone." Yugyeom says and hands his phone over to Jaebum to let him plug it into the stereo system. He takes the phone to press play and watches Jaebum's reaction.

But Jaebum doesn't have much of a reaction. Yugyeom can hardly tell what he's thinking. He's worked on songs with Jaebum for years now and he hasn't ever seen Jaebum like this.

"Is it about something happening in your life?" Jaebum asks when the song is done.

"Yeah." Yugyeom admits. Jaebum looks intrigued.

"Oh. Really?"

"Kind of, yeah." Yugyeom says. "You know when you realize that your feelings for someone are stronger than you thought? Like when it becomes more than a crush?"

"I do." Jaebum says pensively. "I think lots of people have. It's... a good feeling to write about."

"I thought so too." Yugyeom admits.

"There's some production work that could use some work. And some rap. And some sections to be added for me and Youngjae."

"Oh, yeah!" Yugyeom says. "Uh, I might need some help with that."

"Of course." Jaebum assures him. "I can work on the production with you if you wanted? And we can talk to Bam, Mark, and Jackson about rap."

"Okay." Yugyeom replies.

"I think we've got our next title track."

"What?" Yugyeom asks. "Where?"

"Right here." Jaebum answers and points to Yugyeom's phone. "Your song."

"You're joking." Yugyeom says.

"I'm not."

"This isn't a title track. This is just... something I was working on."

"I don't think so. It needs some work, but I think it could be great." Jaebum says insistently.

"Hyung-"

"Just. Hear me out. If PD-nim doesn't like it, fine. But let me help you. And trust me. And I think we could have a great title track on our hands." Jaebum says, looking at Yugyeom as if the force of his stares will make Yugyeom believe you.

"Fine." Yugyeom finds himself agreeing.

\--

yu_gyeom  
what are u up to?

pepi_jy_  
Eating dinner at work  
I need to work late but at least I have delicious food to keep me company

yu_gyeom  
im jealous...

pepi_jy_  
look

Then he attaches a photo of his meal. Yugyeom's stomach was already empty before, but now he hears it gurgle. Jinyoung is eating three kinds of meat, and he has a huge serving of rice and at least eight side dishes, and soup. Yugyeom wants to die.

yu_gyeom  
dont torture me  
im on a diet for our comeback

pepi_jy_  
you're already so skinny tho

yu_gyeom  
i just need to be on a diet  
its just a fact of life

pepi_jy_  
remember when you fainted?  
yeah, lets not repeat that

yu_gyeom  
ill be ok  
ive been dieting since i was like 14

pepi_jy_  
that doesn't make me feel any better...

yu_gyeom  
ill be fine mom

pepi_jy_  
i think you mean dad

Yugyeom just about chokes on his spit.

yu_gyeom  
...  
is there something you want to tell me?

pepi_jy_  
no?

yu_gyeom  
lmaooooo

pepi_jy_  
I'll eat some on your behalf, does that work?

\--

The next morning, his doorbell rings and Yugyeom opens his front door to find a delivery boy holding a large plastic bag.

"Hello?" He says. He didn't order delivery.

"Are you Kim Yugyeom?" The delivery boy asks.

"Yeah, that's me."

"This is for you." The boy says and pushes the bag towards him. Yugyeom frowns.

"I didn't order this." He says. He hopes he isn't getting scammed.

"Yeah, someone named Park Jinyoung did?"

"Oh. Um, okay. Thank you." Yugyeom says, taking the bag. He goes to pull out his wallet to tip but the boy shakes his head.

"It's already been paid for." He says. "Enjoy!"

Yugyeom opens the bag to find containers of healthy food -- salads, chicken, and yogurts. Everything that fits on his diet.

He chews on his lip. Jinyoung didn't need to do this for him. But he did. Yugyeom's heart flutters. He's so, so fucked.

\--

A week later, Yugyeom is sitting in his living room watching TV absently when his doorbell rings. He ignores it, but then it rings again. And again. The person won't stop ringing. Yugyeom sighs heavily and goes to see who it is. He looks through the peekhole and doesn't see anyone. But the doorbell is ringing.

He opens the door cautiously to see Jinyoung clinging to the wall beside the doorbell, ringing it desperately.

"Hyung." He says, and Jinyoung's head snaps up to look at him. He looks... plastered, Yugyeom realizes.

"I went clubbing." Jinyoung says.

"I can see that." Yugyeom replies, eyeing Jinyoung's soaking wet t-shirt. He sighs. "Come in. You're dripping in the hallway."

He opens the door for Jinyoung to come in and Jinyoung stumbles into his apartment.

"Careful." He says, but his words appear to have no effect because Jinyoung can barely coordinate himself. "Oh god. How did you even get here?"

"Because I wanted to be here." Jinyoung slurs and Yugyeom wishes that his words didn't make his heart skip a beat. "Can I sleep over?"

"Sure." Yugyeom agrees. "You're too drunk to go anywhere else in this state."

"I'm fine!" Jinyoung says and then he falls over onto the floor. "Oh. Maybe not."

"You should shower."

"No! I'm staying right here." Jinyoung says with a pout, pointing to his place on the floor.

"Jinyoung. You smell like booze."

"I'm not moving." Jinyoung insists.

"Fine." Yugyeom says, and musters up his strength to pick Jinyoung up off the ground and put him over his shoulder. "Don't puke on me."

"I never puke when I'm drunk." Jinyoung says from behind him. "Wow you're strong." Yugyeom can suddenly feel hands groping his butt.

"You're just light." Yugyeom says, and places Jinyoung on his bed. "Stay here. I'll find something for you to change into."

"Something warm." Jinyoung slurs and Yugyeom snorts at Jinyoung's demanding nature coming out even when he's been drinking. He rustles around in his wardrobe and finds some sweatpants and a hoodie with a large shirt to wear underneath for Jinyoung to wear.

When he turns around to give the clothes to Jinyoung though, his mouth goes dry. Jinyoung has managed to strip off his t-shirt and unbuckle his jeans enough that he can slide them down to his thighs. Yugyeom doesn't know what to focus on first -- Jinyoung's glistening abs, his flushed cheeks and plump lips, or the way that Jinyoung is reclining on his bed like he's there to fuck Yugyeom.

He flings the clothes at Jinyoung and flees.

"Change and meet me in the living room." He calls over his shoulder.

"Come help me walk there." Jinyoung calls back, and Yugyeom swears there's a tinge of something in Jinyoung's voice that he doesn't want to identify.

"You can crawl if you need." Yugyeom says.

"Bastard." He hears Jinyoung say from the bedroom.

Yugyeom forces himself to take some deep breaths and turns the TV back on. A few minutes later, Jinyoung comes into the living room, dressed in the sweatpants, but he's still notably shirtless.

"You said to lend you something warm." Yugyeom says. "And now you aren't even wearing a shirt."

"I was cold." Jinyoung says, and then he goes to sit on the sofa. Except instead of sitting on the sofa like a normal person, he goes and sits right on Yugyeom's lap. Yugyeom makes a pained noise but he doesn't move Jinyoung immediately off his lap.

"Hyung?" He asks. "What are you doing?"

"I'm cold." Jinyoung whines and Yugyeom wants to slap him.

"Then you should've worn the clothes I put out for you." He replies. Jinyoung harrumphs and stands up.

And turns around to sit down on Yugyeom again, straddling him this time. Yugyeom squeaks.

"There." Jinyoung says, and scooches closer so that they're chest to chest, and wraps his arms around Yugyeom's neck.

"Hyung." Yugyeom says. "Can you get off?"

"No." Jinyoung answers. "Mmm. You smell good."

Yugyeom freezes. Jinyoung is completely shirtless, pressed up against him. And then Jinyoung _squirms_ slightly so that their crotches brush. Yugyeom wills himself not to get hard. He imagines the least sexy scenarios possible. Bambam talking about his girlfriend. The time Mark accidentally zipped his foreskin into the fly of his jeans.

"Yugyeom." Jinyoung mutters into his ear. "Take me to bed?"

"I'm watching TV." Yugyeom lies. He's been looking at Jinyoung's abs since he came out shirtless.

"Take me to bed." Jinyoung says again, and Yugyeom shoves Jinyoung off him, as lightly as he can. Jinyoung looks slightly hurt.

"I'm going to bed. You can take the couch." Yugyeom says brusquely. "I'll get you a pillow and a blanket."

\--

The next morning, Jinyoung is gone before Yugyeom wakes up.

\--

Jinyoung asks Yugyeom out for coffee a few days later.

"I'm sorry about the other night." Jinyoung says when Yugyeom gets there. "I was... very drunk."

"It's no big deal." Yugyeom says. "You were funny."

"I'm always such a mess when I have too much to drink." Jinyoung says with exasperation. Deep down though, Yugyeom wouldn't mind seeing Jinyoung like that more often. "Did I... do anything?"

"No. You just bumbled around." Yugyeom fibs. "And you didn't wear a shirt."

"Oh god." Jinyoung says with a sigh. "I'm sorry. At least I didn't break anything?"

"No. You didn't." Yugyeom confirms.

"Thank god." Jinyoung replies, sounding relieved. "Oh, by the way I'm going away on a quick trip for work."

"Sounds fun." Yugyeom says.

"And I need someone to water my plants."

"Oh, are you going to ask a neighbour?"

"No, because I thought you could house-sit for me?" Jinyoung asks, clearly wheedling him.

"There are services that do that." Yugyeom says, not impressed.

"Or you could do it." Jinyoung says, clearly feigning innocence. "Please Yugyeom?"

"But-"

"Please?" Jinyoung asks, pouting. Yugyeom feels his resolve crack.

"Fine." Yugyeom agrees with a heavy sigh.

Jinyoung launches himself at Yugyeom, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you!" Jinyoung sing-songs into Yugyeom's ear.

It feels strange to be hugged by someone smaller than him, Yugyeom thinks, but he pats Jinyoung's back anyways.

Then he realizes what has just happened. Jinyoung is hugging him. And he smells good. And he feels smaller than he looks. And Yugyeom's arms just wrap around him like they fit together. Yugyeom's brain recalls when Jinyoung straddled him, how good that felt.

And now Jinyoung is hugging him, completely sober. What does that mean?


	9. hanjan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I stole the chapter title from the song by Peggy Gou. #shots
> 
> HOPE U ENJOY UWU

Yugyeom house sits for Jinyoung the next week. Jinyoung texted him the code for the door, and all Yugyeom has to do is water Jinyoung's plants for five days while Jinyoung is away. Yugyeom doesn't even know where Jinyoung was going for work. And, as it turns out, Jinyoung has cacti, so they don't even need to be watered except for on the last day that Yugyeom is supposed to housesit.

"This bastard." Yugyeom grumbles when he reads Jinyoung's note. "I'm sure a plant can wait an extra day to be watered. I don't know why he forced me into doing this."

But even so, he takes the opportunity to snoop through Jinyoung's apartment. He's been over countless times before but Jinyoung was always around. But now that Jinyoung forced him to house-sit... it's like an invitation to snoop.

There's a few baby photos sprinkled among the collection of photos on the wall that Yugyeom has never had the chance to look at. Yugyeom can't resist himself — he snaps a few photos. Jinyoung was an adorable baby with full cheeks and the exact same pout he has as an adult.

Yugyeom wonders what Jinyoung's kids would look like. But then he imagines Jinyoung with a wife and forces himself to end that train of thought.

He wonders if he'll still be friends with Jinyoung by the time they're at marrying age. He hopes so. Not that Yugyeom will be marrying anyone, not in Korea at least. But he wants his friendship with Jinyoung to last for a long time.

\--

He sleeps in Jinyoung's bed, and even though the sheets are freshly washed, it smells like Jinyoung. Yugyeom wonders what it would be like to fall asleep next to Jinyoung in this bed. He turns over. There's no point in wasting his time thinking about that. This is the closest he'll get to sleeping with Jinyoung.

\--

Jinyoung's trip passes quickly. During the day Yugyeom goes to the studio to work on the song with Jaebum and usually a few other people -- whether producers or other members. They work on the production and finalize lyrics.

And maybe Jaebum was right, maybe it could be a title track, Yugyeom thinks. A swell of hope rises in his chest. He's never thought that he'd be able to do something like that. He doesn't completely believe in himself just yet, but Jaebum seems to, and that's enough for him.

\--

"Here, I'll drive you home." Jaebum says one night after they finish up their work.

Jaebum goes to take the exit to Yugyeom's apartment but Yugyeom startles.

"Oh! I'm actually staying at a friend's place right now wile he's out of town. I'll direct you."

"Who is this friend?" Jaebum asks, easily changing lanes to stay on the road.

"Someone you don't know." Yugyeom answers.

"This Jinyoung guy right?" Jaebum says, shifting his hands on the steering wheel.

"Yeah. How do you know?"

"Bambam was telling me about him." Yugyeom freezes in panic. He prays to god that Bambam didn't tell Jaebum anything.

"What- what did he tell you?" He asks.

"Just that your new friend is named Jinyoung." Jaebum says. "And he's handsome. That's all Bambam said."

"Oh." Yugyeom replies, trying to relax. "Uh. You know Bambam."

"Is he more handsome than me?" Jaebum asks.

"This is the exit you have to take." Yugyeom says instead of answering Jaebum's question.

\--

Yugyeom wakes up in the middle of the night that night for no reason. He just... wakes up and senses someone else there.

He opens his eyes and blinks once, twice. He's dreaming, isn't he? Because there's no way that Jinyoung is lying in the bed beside him, curled up close enough that Yugyeom can see the freckles across his nose. No way that he can really feel Jinyoung's warmth beside him.

He needs to make sure that this isn't a dream (and not one of his dreams that involve Jinyoung in his bed and far fewer clothes).

Yugyeom pokes Jinyoung tentatively. Jinyoung cracks open one eye.

"What is it?" Jinyoung asks.

"Are you real?"

"Yes?" Jinyoung replies. "I'm tired. Let's go back to sleep."

"Okay." Yugyeom agrees and watches Jinyoung close his eye again and then snuggle closer to him. He stiffens just for a moment, but Jinyoung is already back asleep.

Just for a moment, he tells himself, and moves closer to Jinyoung, so that they're just about touching.

He falls asleep before he can even think twice of it.

\--

When Yugyeom wakes up again, Jinyoung is looking at him. Yugyeom startles.

"Ahh!" He exclaims, sitting up in bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Lying in bed." Jinyoung says, patting the pillow he's lying on.

"No. I. What are you doing home?" Yugyeom asks, heart racing.

"Oh. It turned out that I didn't need to be there on the last day so I caught an earlier flight."

"What time did you get in?"

"Midnight." Jinyoung answers, propping his head into his hand.

"You could've woken me up." Yugyeom chides.

"You looked pretty asleep." Jinyoung says.

"But I could've slept on the sofa." Jinyoung rolls his eyes at this.

"Are we not two men?" He asks. "Relax." That's exactly the problem, Yugyeom thinks.

He stretches and quickly realizes that he slept only in his pajama pants. He isn't wearing a shirt. He's never been shirtless around Jinyoung. But when he looks over, Jinyoung is looking at him.

"Nice chest." Jinyoung says. "I'll go make some breakfast." He says with an eyebrow waggle and gets out of bed, throwing Yugyeom a single look before he leaves the bedroom.

\--

"Is everything okay?" Jaebum asks in the studio later that day.

"Oh? Uh, yeah. Everything's fine." Yugyeom answers quickly.

"You seem a little frazzled today." Jaebum says.

"Everything's all good hyung." Yugyeom says.

"Good." Jaebum replies. "We can't have your pretty face stressed."

And Yugyeom doesn't know what to make of that.

\--

The dare shouldn't have been made in the first place. Yugyeom was a fool and he regrets everything. But now here he is, dressed up with Bambam in Red Velvet 'Dumb Dumb' dresses, knee-high socks, and shoes. He's even wearing a wig and full makeup. He just hopes Yeri doesn't see the video. Or, come to think of it, any of his other idol friends. He can already sense the teasing to come. Actually, he can hear the rest of them waiting outside for him, so he literally can hear the teasing.

They lost the bet, so now Yugyeom and Bambam need to film themselves dancing and fooling around dressed up like girls as a part of their dumb show. And upload it to their SNS. For other people to see.

God help them.

"Gyeom? Are you done?" Jaebum asks from outside the door.

"Yeah, just about!" Yugyeom calls back.

"Can I come in?"

"That's never stopped you before." Yugyeom says with a laugh.

Jaebum walks into the change room and stops in his tracks. Yugyeom does a twirl in his dress.

"How do I look?" Yugyeom asks, rubbing his lips together to blend his lipstick in. He went with red and Bam went with pink.

"Jesus." Jaebum says, looking stricken. He looks like he's trying not to choke.

"What?" Yugyeom asks.

"Nothing. Uh. Wow." Jaebum says, alternating between staring at the floor and staring at Yugyeom's legs.

"What is it?"

"You look different than I thought you would."

"I know. Bam is way prettier than me." Yugyeom says, tugging at his wig slightly.

"I wouldn't say that." Jaebum replies, turning a distinct shade of pink.

"Huh?"

"I need to go." Jaebum coughs out and flees.

"What's wrong with him?" Jackson asks, coming into the changeroom. "Oh my god!" He says, ogling Yugyeom. "You're way cuter as a girl."

They do the dumb video shoot and Yugyeom has more fun than he wants to admit. The other members spend the entire time cackling of laughter, so Yugyeom figures that the day is a success in one way.

\--

At the end of the dare shooting, Yugyeom decides to play with Jinyoung a little bit. He takes a video of himself doing aegyo and saying "Jinyoung-ie oppa!" and then makes sure to get a full body shot of his outfit.

He's just hitting send when Jaebum comes into his changeroom.

"Hyung!" Yugyeom greets.

"Gyeom." Jaebum says in response. "Oh, sorry. I thought you'd changed."

"I will. I'll be quick and I'll be out soon!" Yugyeom says.

"Gyeom. I-" Jaebum starts to say but then he shakes his head. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I should be okay. Thank you though." Yugyeom replies. He doesn't know why Jaebum is acting so strangely.

\--

Yugyeom checks his phone on their way to the next video shoot. Jinyoung has opened his video message and even though he hasn't responded, he's saved the video. Yugyeom frowns in confusion. Why did Jinyoung save that video of him?

\--

Jinyoung doesn't acknowledge the video. He doesn't message Yugyeom for the rest of his schedule and it drives Yugyeom crazy.

He calls Jinyoung when he's alone on the car ride back to the apartment.

"Hello?" Jinyoung greets when he picks up the phone.

"Why did you save that video of me?" Yugyeom asks. Jinyoung makes a weird noise on the other end.

"Because I wanted to." Jinyoung says.

"Why?"

"What if I was a girl?" Jinyoung asks.

"You'd be a pretty girl." Yugyeom answers without really thinking about his answer.

"Would I?"

"Yeah."

"Am I pretty now?" Jinyoung asks.

"Er. Why are you asking?"

"Just wondering." Jinyoung answers, but Yugyeom knows him well enough to know that he isn't telling the whole truth.

"You're very attractive and you know it now shut up and stop fishing for compliments." Yugyeom. Jinyoung laughs and laughs.

"Fine." He says through his laughter.

\--

Yugyeom is just thinking about how weird both Jaebum and Jinyoung's reactions were when Bambam barges into his apartment the next day.

"Do you have food?" Bambam asks. "I'm too lazy to go to the store." Yugyeom rolls his eyes dramatically.

"You're using me."

"Because I love you." Bambam replies, making a beeline for Yugyeom's fridge. He pulls out two containers and brings them to the living room, handing out to Yugyeom with chopsticks.

"Jaebum was weird about your outfit yesterday." Bambam says, chewing and looking deep in thought.

"I noticed too." Yugyeom says back. "I don't know..."

Bambam's phone dings and he looks at the screen quickly before laughing, a silly smiley laugh that he only does when he's truly happy.

"Who are you texting?" Yugyeom asks. "Oh. Girlfriend."

"Yeah." Bambam says. "She's so funny."

"Oh. Good." Yugyeom replies somewhat awkwardly.

"She's great." Bambam continues with a shy smile. "I'm really happy."

"I'm happy for you." Yugyeom says, patting Bambam on the arm.

But his stomach twists as Bambam talks about the fun dates he's been going on, and how much he likes his girlfiend.

He's jealous, he realizes. Jealous of Bambam for having that kind of romantic relationship.

He's never been jealous of any of his friends for dating. He's never had anyone come close to being an option to be in a relationship like that. His previous crushes had all been kept at a distance, Yugyeom was always too afraid to let someone close to his heart.

But now, there is something who's managed to worm their way into his life. Someone who's let Yugyeom dare to even daydream about having a relationship.

He wants to do all the dumb sappy lovey dovey nonsense with Jinyoung. He wants Jinyoung to be all possessive of him, because they're dating. He wants Jinyoung to have a claim on him. He... he's in deep.

"Gyeom?" Bambam asks, waving a hand in front of Yugyeom's face. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Yugyeom says, coming back to himself.

"You just totally spaced out."

"Sorry." Yugyeom says quickly, blinking.

"Are you okay?" Bambam asks, concern coming over his face. "You look a little off."

"All good Bammie." Yugyeom assures him, but he isn't so sure.

\--

After Bambam leaves to go back to his own apartment, Yugyeom flips through the photos on his phone to find the photos he took of him and Jinyoung.

There's just four, and the first three are identical -- Yugyeom making a cute face and Jinyoung smiling widely.

But there's one last photo that he must've taken accidentally. Jinyoung's head is turned to face Yugyeom in this photo and he has a soft expression on his face, like he's looking at someone with fondness. He's looking at Yugyeom with fondness, Yugyeom realizes. It's a good photo -- candid, but good.

He sends the photo to Jinyoung.

 **yu_gyeom**  
**i like this one**

\--

Yugyeom doesn't get a response until late that night.

 **pepi_jy_**  
**Me too.**

And Yugyeom doesn't know how to respond to that.

\--

Yugyeom has just finished paying for his food at a convenience store a few days later when he can feel eyes on him.

"Yugyeom-ah!" He hears and turns to see three girls standing there grinning at him and waving.

"Oh!" He says. "Hello!"

"What are you doing here?" One of them asks.

"I needed a snack." Yugyeom answers, holding up his kimbap and smiling. They laugh and ask what he's eaten today, if he's been sleeping okay, and how are his hyungs?

Yugyeom is more than happy to answer. He's missed them, he's missed being able to see them like this.

He chats for fifteen minutes with them when suddenly he sees a man that looks remarkably like Jinyoung standing at the back of the store. Yugyeom cranes his head but the man turns to leave.

"Excuse me." Yugyeom says. "I need to go now but I'll see everyone very soon! Be patient!"

His manager puts his arms out so that Yugyeom can make his way out of the crowd. His fans take a few more photos but let him go. Yugyeom waves goodbye and blows kisses to them, but the man who looks like Jinyoung is almost out of sight.

"Jinyoung?" He calls out.

The man turns his head just slightly, allowing Yugyeom to see that it is in fact Jinyoung, before he starts walking faster. "Jinyoung!" Yugyeom calls out, louder this time, and speeds up, almost running to catch up. He thanks god for his long legs.

He grabs Jinyoung's wrist, forcing them both to stop.

"What is it?" Jinyoung snaps.

"I thought I'd come say hello." Yugyeom replies, putting on his best cute act.

"Aren't you busy? With your fans or whatever?" Jinyoung all but spits out.

"Not right now." Yugyeom says. "I got caught up. Why did you run away?"

"You seemed busy." Jinyoung replies tensely. He isn't making eye contact with Yugyeom. Yugyeom reaches out and grabs Jinyoung's shoulders, forcing him to look up.

"Are you okay? You seem a little off."

"I'm fine." Jinyoung snaps.

"If something is wrong, I hope you feel like you can talk to me."

"I know Yugyeom-ah." Jinyoung says, suddenly looking deflated. Yugyeom just knows that something is bothering him.

"Do you want to do something?" He asks.

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Aren't you busy?"

"Not until tomorrow." Yugyeom says and sends a pointed look towards his manager who coughs and looks down at his phone.

"Text me where you are then." His manager says and frowns at him. "Don't do anything dumb."

"We're just going to eat and then go to my apartment." Yugyeom replies. "Calm down."

\--

They actually wind up ordering takeout and hanging out on Yugyeom's sofa like the losers that they truly are.

"Can I borrow that sweater again?" Jinyoung says. "It was really comfortable."

"Oh. Yeah, sure." Yugyeom says, wiping up the spilled sauce on the coffee table. "It's sitting on my dresser if you want to go get it, or if you give me a second, I can go-"

"I'll go." Jinyoung interrupts, and stands up to

Jinyoung disappears for a solid five minutes. Yugyeom is about to go see what's taking Jinyoung so long when Jinyoung finally comes out, in Yugyeom's favourite, and most expensive sweater.

And Yugyeom's eyes can hardly leave Jinyoung.

That same sizzle of possessiveness is back. Jinyoung is here again in Yugyeom's apartment, in Yugyeom's clothes, smelling like Yugyeom.

"I like this sweater." Jinyoung declares. "But maybe it looks better on you than me."

"You look fine." Yugyeom says in response, but even he can pick up on the suggestion in his voice. Jinyoung doesn't acknowledge it though.

"I look like I'm wearing a sweater that's too big for me. But it's cozy."

"It's my favourite sweater." Yugyeom says. Jinyoung's eyes go wide.

"Oh! I didn't know. Here I'll go change-"

"Keep it on." Yugyeom says. They hold eye contact for a beat too long. Jinyoung's jaw shifts.

At the end of the night, Yugyeom lets Jinyoung leave with his sweater.

"But it's your favourite sweater-" Jinyoung protests.

"Keep it." Yugyeom interrupts. "I can always get another one if I miss it too much."

"Oh. Couple sweaters?" Jinyoung asks.

"I'd want something nicer for couple sweaters with you." Yugyeom replies without thinking. Jinyoung's expression flickers.

\--

 **pepi_jy**  
**Come out for dinner with me tomorrow :)**  
**It's payback for letting me borrow your sweater**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**demanding**

 **pepi_jy_**  
**Pick me up at 5:30?**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**fine**

\--

But when Yugyeom goes over to Jinyoung's apartment, he finds that Jinyoung isn't home yet, and two people who must be Jinyoung's parents are sitting in the living room.

"Hello?" Jinyoung's mother says.

"Hello." Yugyeom says, blinking. He bows deeply. "I'm Kim Yugyeom, I'm a friend of Jinyoung's."

The door beeps open behind him.

"Gyeom- sorry I'm late! Oh!" Jinyoung says, coming into the apartment.

"Jinyoung?" His mother says.

"What are you doing here?" Jinyoung asks.

"We thought we'd surprise you." Jinyoung's father replies.

"Uh. I have... plans tonight." Jinyoung says and gestures toward Yugyeom, who by now is starting to feel uncomfortable. "Mom, Dad, this is Kim Yugyeom." Jinyoung says. Yugyeom bows politely, and Jinyoung's parents bow back.

"Oh? Haven't I seen him on TV before?" Jinyoung's mom asks.

"He's an idol." Jinyoung replies. "He's in GOT6."

"I didn't know you had famous friends Jinyoung-ie." His mother says. "Oh gosh. Look at how skinny he is."

"I know." Jinyoung replies. "I'm always trying to get him to eat more."

"It's nice to meet you." Yugyeom says finally, feeling like he's a mixture between Jinyoung's child, and Jinyoung's girlfriend.

"It's nice to meet you too!" Jinyoung's mother says. "You're so much more handsome in person!"

"Mom." Jinyoung groans.

"Much more handsome than Jinyoung." Jinyoung's father says.

"I don't know about that." Yugyeom replies and they both laugh.

"I'm sorry Mom and Dad, but we have dinner plans. We're going to be late." Jinyoung says.

"I'm sure your parents could come too." Yugyeom replies quickly when they look at Jinyoung harshly. "The restaurant shouldn't be too busy."

"That would be lovely!" Jinyoung's mother says. "What a kind young man!"

"You don't need to come with if you don't want to." Jinyoung says.

"He's kidding." Yugyeom says and Jinyoung's parents smile at him. "We'd love to have you eat with us."

\--

So Yugyeom finds himself at dinner with Jinyoung and Jinyoung's parents. They ask him about his work, and how he met Jinyoung.

"So you didn't meet on one of those apps?" Jinyoung's father asks.

"Huh? No. We met at a party the first time." Yugyeom answers and beside him Jinyoung makes a choking noise.

"Oh. Okay." Jinyoung's father replies. "I'm so glad Jinyoung has such a nice young man like you."

"Dad!" Jinyoung says, looking painfully embarrassed. Yugyeom doesn't know why Jinyoung is so upset. His father is just asking him if they met online.

"And you're an idol. That makes good money." Jinyoung's mother says.

"Er." Yugyeom says.

"I'm so sorry." Jinyoung whispers. "They're... like hawks."

"It's okay." Yugyeom assures him and reaches over to squeeze Jinyoung's knee. Jinyoung doesn't flinch at the touch, but rather leans into it somewhat.

"Ah. Look at them." Jinyoung's father says. "Now. Yugyeom, what do your parents do?"

\--

"I'm sorry. I didn't know my parents would invite themselves along to dinner." Jinyoung says as Yugyeom drives him home. Jinyoung's parents were going to stay in a hotel for the night and then see Jinyoung the next day, so they'd said good-bye at the restaurant.

"Don't worry about it. They were nice." Yugyeom says. Perhaps a little prying, but what parent isn't?

"They were... nosy." Jinyoung says. "I'm sorry."

"I don't mind." Yugyeom replies. He really doesn't. "It... it was good to meet your parents. I feel like I know you better now."

"Oh." Jinyoung says, and he turns to look out the window. Yugyeom can't quite tell in the lighting, but it looks like Jinyoung is blushing inexplicably.

"Now you have to meet my parents." Yugyeom teases, but he feels a little flutter in his stomach at the thought of his parents meeting Jinyoung.

"They don't live in Seoul either right?" Jinyoung asks.

"Yeah." Yugyeom answers. "They-"

The display on the dash lights up with an incoming call from Jaebum.

"Sorry. I need to take this." Yugyeom says to Jinyoung, and answers the call.

"Hyung?" He says.

"Yugyeom-ah! The song is done!" Jaebum says. Yugyeom feels a grin come over him.

"Really?" Yugyeom asks.

"Yes. I finished with the final edits today. Come listen!"

"I can't right now. I'm out. But send me it when you get a chance!" Yugyeom says.

"I will." Jaebum agrees. "But only if you come out for dinner with me tomorrow to celebrate!" Jaebum adds.

"Fine, fine." Yugyeom agrees with a laugh. "Text me with the details."

"Good. And I'm paying."

"Fine! Okay. I'm driving so I should let you go. I'll talk to you soon." Yugyeom says.

"Bye Gyeom-ie!" Jaebum says softly.

"Bye hyung." Yugyeom says back. Jaebum hangs up.

There's a moment of heavy silence in the car. Yugyeom feels uncomfortable that Jinyoung overheard that conversation.

"He likes you." Jinyoung says.

"Yeah, duh. He's my leader."

"No, I think he like likes you."

"Um, I really don't think so. What makes you think that?" Jinyoung pauses before he replies.

"Yugyeom. I don't know anyone who acts like that around someone they think of in a completely platonic way."

"He's my leader." Yugyeom insists.

"He's a man." Jinyoung replies. "He has feelings too."

"Not for me."

"Yugyeom. Put it together. Pretend that it isn't you. Imagine seeing someone constantly compliment someone else. Flirting."

"He doesn't flirt-"

"What do you call that phone call then?" Jinyoung asks.

"He asked you out like twice, and then called you hot. And complimented you through the whole thing. It was flirting."

"It wasn't." Yugyeom says, gripping the steering wheel a little more tightly. Maybe Jinyoung is onto something. "Ok. Maybe it was. What do I do?"

"Well, do you like him?" Jinyoung asks in a weird voice.

"No!" Yugyeom answers. "He's just my hyung. That's it."

"I'm your hyung." Jinyoung says.

"What?"

"So you aren't interested in him?"

"No. Definitely not." Yugyeom confirms.

"Just show it then." Jinyoung says. "Easy."

"What do you mean?"

"Just don't flirt back." Jinyoung says, oddly tense.

"I don't flirt with him." Yugyeom replies, but maybe that isn't even the full truth.

\--

Yugyeom is just listening to the song for the last few times, seeing if there's anything else to fix when Jaebum comes into the studio with an iced choco and an iced Americano.

"Hyung? What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming in today." Yugyeom asks.

"I wasn't going to come in but I decided to come by and see how you were doing. And to deliver this." Jaebum says and shakes the iced choco.

"For me?" Yugyeom asks and Jaebum smiles.

"Of course." He says and hands the iced choco to Yugyeom before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Thank you hyung." Yugyeom says sheepishly.

"Well. Do you think it needs any more work?"

Jaebum says, and reaches a hand over to the space between Yugyeom's shoulders -- below his neck. It's meant to be a comforting touch but Yugyeom feels a sudden awareness of how close Jaebum is, how alone they are. Jaebum is familiar sure, but he's acting... acting like something else here.

It is a little strange that Jaebum acts the way he does sometimes. If Yugyeom really thinks about it, Jaebum doesn't treat him like anyone else. He's always had a soft spot for Yugyeom, which is probably why Yugyeom thought nothing of Jaebum doing things for him or complimenting him.

All this time in the studio, Jaebum has been nothing but attentive and doting. He's been... acting like a boyfriend, Yugyeom realizes. The casual arms around waists, or over shoulders. Bringing food to the studio -- good food, not vending machine snacks. Driving Yugyeom home. The looks.

Yugyeom has been so stupid.

When Jaebum takes his hand away to fiddle with his computer, Yugyeom texts Jinyoung quickly.

 **yu_gyeom**  
**oh my god. i think my hyung has liked me for... a while**

Jinyoung texts back immediately.

 **pepi_jy_**  
**No. I'm shocked...**  
**Just show him that you don't return his feelings.**

 **yu_gyeom**  
**i'll try my best. i dont want to hurt his feelings**

\--

 **yu_gyeom**  
**i wish you'd like me back (Hit enter to send message.)**


End file.
